Gymnastics Update
I got some additional information when I took our DD to gymnastics last night. They want SD for the group that does competitions. A space is opening in June, so no one would need to decide for a couple months what happens. The practices are only for 1.5 hours a week on the weekend for the first year and then competitions start the following year. Competition fees are about $1,200 for the year, depending on how many competitions they do. I'm guessing the second year the practices are more often, but H will have to find out about that. Then there can also be cost for leotards, traveling to competitions, possibly staying in a hotel, etc. I don't feel that DH and BM can really afford this level. My H seems to be leaning towards let SD do it and if they decide they can't afford it long term only have her do it for a year. But I don't think that's right because that would be taking a spot from someone who could continue on with competitions later. I think a decision needs to be made one way or another - let SD do it and pay for it long term, or tell her no. To me the only acceptable reason to say yes and then take her out is if she isn't putting in the work.
I am honestly still blown away that they want her for a competition type team. She's done gymnastics for a year and she can do a split and a cartwheel. She can't hold herself on the uneven bars, do a backbend, or do a handstand. Maybe they see raw talent or potential?
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LOL
Maybe they see raw potential ??? . I am cynical , with some of these skids the only person that sees raw potential is the doting disney daddio. Or people who want your money.
Who knows maybe she is the next Simone Biles. Who knew ;)
At least you have a couple of months to mull this over.
Right! I am so confused!
Right! I am so confused! Originally I was thinking the gym only wants more money, but now I'm thinking well they wouldn't want to take someone who is no good to a competition. I don't get it.
they don't care if they win.
they don't care if they win..lol. And many of these competitions are entered by your level.. so you "play" against kids of equal average skill level. They want to fill the money spot.
I think you all need to see if you can talk to any parents who are at that higher level to understand a more full cost. 1200 may just be entry fees for comps but the cost of uniforms can add hundreds (warm up suits.. practice uniforms vs comp uniforms) Travel expenses.. and the obligation on time that everyone needs to commit to. and it can get to be a LOT special practice sessions.. private sessions.. all at more money.
I promise you, these gyms
I promise you, these gyms absolutely do care if they win. It is a big deal. She's actually "old" for level 1, so other girls competing at her level/age are probably going to do pretty well since they are more mature.
We just switched gyms mid-season. Since my daughter is compulsory, costs are a little more, but we immediately paid over $2k when we switched. $400 for leo/warm-up, $1200 for meet fees, $100 for music (you won't have this for level 1), $350 for choreography (also doesn't apply to level 1). 3hrs is enough practice for level 1, my daughter practiced 4.5 hours a week then, but 3 hrs is common too. She had a meet 1.5hours away last weekend and the whole thing (leaving our house, meet, dinner, drive home) took 7 hours. It is a lot. It is hard to balance when you have other kids in other sports too. I would start out pretty disengaged from the whole thing if I were you. The good news about practice time is that parents are encouraged not to stay for practice, just drop off and come back for pick up.
I would think they care too.
I would think they care too..but then I see SD and her skill level and I just don't get it. This is also $240 a month for a1.5 hours per week. It seems a expensive to me. Right now the cost is $90 for an hour a week. So it's $150 more for an extra half hour. Does that seem average to you? I really don't know what is normal/average when it comes to this type of thing.
Yes, I see this becoming a
Yes, I see this becoming a pretty big money pit tbh. I am just having such a hard time wrapping my head around this whole thing. I want to believe that they see something in SD but she is not good at gymnastics. After a year of classes she hasn't improved all that much. She is not graceful, she falls while walking constantly, she has no rhythm - when she tries to dance she flails around. I feel like maybe I'm being a little too harsh but this is a lot of money and time dedication we're talking about for something that I just don't see working out long term/at all.
Maybe they need so many kids
Maybe they need so many kids on a team to qualify as a team.... ?
Is it possible that SD has
Is it possible that SD has been talking to other kids and expressing the want to be at their level and being able to go to competitions? I have a daughter who is in dance and to be eligible to get her pointe shoes she has to take a minimum of four hours of dance per week. BD has been dancing since she was 5 and takes up to 6-7 hours per week...when she finally got her pointe shoes she said it was a whole new ball game on the level she now has to work at. Just from your post I don't see how SD could get to competition level on three hours of practice a week for a year.
It's not even 3 hours. It's
It's not even 3 hours. It's 1.5 hours a week on Saturdays for a year. I don't get it either. Right now the cost is $90 per month for an hour long session a week. This is going to be $240 for 1.5 hours a week. That's a huge jump in cost for an extra half hour a week. I guess maybe some of the trainers are higher level, but when I talked to the owner last night she said that SDs current rec coach is also the coach for this more advanced team. So what the heck?
Sorry I misunderstood I
Sorry I misunderstood I thought it was 1.5 hours during the week and 1.5 on the weekend. 1.5 hours at 240...ummm hell no! I pay less than that for all the hours of dance my daughter takes per month.
Right! This seems crazy
Right! This seems crazy expensive to me.
Once a precedent is set of
Once a precedent is set of allowing this and DH paying for all or half of it, BM will try to have it court ordered going forward. They just want your money, and the costs will continue to increase.
Killjoy's sport costs upwards of $6k/year x 8 years = 48k.
She is allowed to do it because she works hard and really wants it.
You are right. There are
You are right. There are going to be other expenses. Two sets of uniforms, can't wear dirty uniforms, or blue with red. Red with blue. If you go away. There's hotel, travel, paying for. Team goes out for lunch dinner, everybody chip in to pay for the kids. Parents have drinking party's at night.
That's a good point. I'm
That's a good point. I'm sure that is my H agrees to pay for something and then decides he wants to stop bc SD isn't putting in the work that's going to be an issue for BM and cause her to go for more CS. I wouldn't even care if SD worked hard, but she doesn't. She's lazy. She complains that the bars hurt her stomach at gymnastics and when we go for walks around the neighborhood she always whines that her feet hurt. I don't really think gymnastics was a good fit for her, but I signed up my DD and then SD when home and told her mom she wanted to do gymnastics too and here we are.
What happens at the end of
What happens at the end of the year if SD's "raw potential" doesn't pan out? Do they just kick her out of the competition program? If so, don't worry about her using someone else's spot - it's a two way street and someone with talent will get a chance.
My big question is this - does she love gymnastics? Is it something she really really wants to do and loves to work at, or does she want to do competition because she's flattered and wants to brag about it? There is no way I would invest the time and money in a travel sport for a kid who wasn't passionate about it and willing to work.
My skids (1st and 3rd grade) have done recreational gymnastics once a week for a couple years (not year round; they've taken seasons off). They're pretty good at it; they can do splits, perfect cartwheels/roundoffs, back flips and more. They're strong - they can do chin ups, pull ups, climb a rope, etc., so they're coming along on the bars, and they work on that strength routinely. They have a tumble track and they're always practicing - they like doing it and acquiring new skills. But they don't have a passion for it - they have expressed no desire to do competition and they want to have free time to do other things. They'll be happy to have tumbling skills and might decide to be cheerleaders some day. There's no way we'd put the time/money into competitive gymnastics for them.
You guys know the SD and her work ethic and passion for the sport or lack thereof. The problem is if you see reality and your DH has rose colored glasses. In any event, I wouldn't be ok with the expenditure unless (1) DH was paying for half of all DD expenses, (2) DH was contributing to DD's college fund and (3) DH was making whatever retirement contributions you guys have agreed to as part of your long term financial planning. This of course assumes that DH is already paying his fair share of all household expenses. If he's not doing all of that, he can't afford fancy extras for SD.
I don't know. That's a great
I don't know. That's a great question that I'll tell H he should ask. I'm not sure if there's a certain expectation and if you don't meet it they remove you from the team.
Does she love gymnastics? Honestly, I would say no. She doesn't talk about it really. She doesn't practice at home except for a split or cartwheel every once in a while. She didn't care about watching gymnastics on the olympics this past year. What you've listed that your skids can do, SD isn't even close to most of those things. No back flips, chin ups, pull ups, push ups, she can't do any of those things.
Thanks for bringing up the points in your last paragraph. I need to discuss that stuff with him to make sure we are on the same page. He is actually VERY far behind in saving for his own retirement. I"m not really where I need to be either, but I"m in a much better place than him.
Maybe they do see raw
Maybe they do see raw potential but raw potential means that she has parents that are willing to shuck out for her to practice and actually get better. I'm sure they can spot these types of parents a mile away. Nobody gets into really high levels of this type of thing just by raw tile and it's a lot of practice and a lot of time and money put in it's just a matter of who is able to dedicate the money and time to doing it.
There are a lot of factors that go into asking a kid to join a competitive team like this. It may be that your step daughter is one of the few kids that actually comes consistently to the practices or her parents have paid the most on time and consistently as well. When looking at a group of kids the ones that show up and have parents that are supporting them have a lot more promise and potential than a kid that only comes once in a while with parents that are not really into it.