What the heck do we need to do to get SD(7) to quit being mean?
DH and I were childless for last week due his parents taking all three kids, my BD(7) SS(5) and SD(7), to the ocean for the week. I made sure to make it a point to let MIL know that my BD has just started swimming (dog paddling) and to keep an eye on her. (When she's swimming in the deep end of the pool all you can see is her face sticking out of the water. She's not a strong swimmer yet and it always freaks me out watching her swim in the deep end.)
When we arrived on Saturday to pick the kids up my BD pulled me aside and told me that SD(7) tried to drowned her. When I asked her what happened she told me that she wasn't supposed to say anything because FIL wanted to talk to me about it. This wasn't going to work for me so I asked her to tell me.
Apparently (and this is according to SD too) my BD was holding onto the edge of the pool when SD decided that she wanted to be mean and put water in my BD's face. (My BD doesn't like water in her face and she knew it would p!ss her off or make her cry.) So when SD tried to put water in her face my BD didn't play along with it. So SD came up behind her grabbed her by the waste and drug her under water with her. My BD told me that she didn't even have a chance to take a breath.
Now when the kids go swimming when they are home with us we have very specific rules for how they can play with each other. They are pretty much not allowed to touch each other in the pool because SD and SS are constantly fighting and we've had issues before SS learned how to swim with SD picking him up and trying to take him out to areas in the pool that he couldn't touch the bottom and keep his head above water and forcing him under water.
SD is in some serious trouble. She is grounded at her mother's house for the entire week and when she comes back to our house for DH's week with them she will be grounded and she's no longer allowed to swim at either house for the remainder of the summer.
What freaks me out is that SD does things that are mean just to get a kick out of it all of the time. This crossed the line. She put another child in a situation where they could have been seriously injured or worse. Not to mention that child was my child. I just don't know what to do with this kid. She loves to mean. It's like it makes her happy when she can control another person like that.
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Side note: we've had issues
Side note:
we've had issues before SS learned how to swim with SD picking him up and trying to take him out to areas in the pool that he couldn't touch the bottom and keep his head above water and forcing him under water.
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These are two seperate situations. I always caught her and told her to bring SS back to the shallow end.
I wasn't there for the forcing SS's head under water incident but the neighbor told me that DH caught it and yelled at SD and made her take a time out.
We've tried counceling. The
We've tried counceling. The thing about SD is she is incredibly smart. She knows why she's there and what's going on so she just puts on a show and eventually the councelor buys into it and she gets out of it. She seen a psychologist/psychiatrist and was able to do the same thing with him. I was thinking more along the lines of a child behaviorist. That way we can explain what's been happnening with the hopes that the person would be able to teach us the appropriate way of dealing with the bad behaiors.