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Unhappy's picture

Should a five year old be able to sit at a table and eat food without getting it all over the table and their clothing?

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krazykate12's picture

I agree! My DD isn't even two yet and she rarely ever gets food all over the place. She can eat a bowl of cereal without spilling a drop of milk.

3familiesIn1's picture

Depends, should my SS7 be able to finish a meal without DH feeding him the last few bites almost every time and if not feed him then make a deal and beg and plead for him to eat?

Unhappy's picture

Ha. This sounds strangly familiar. Like I've seen it some where before. Oh I remember where now. At the dinner table at my house.

Don't get me wrong. My BD is the most picky eater on the planet. Always has been. But the deal thing goes on quite a bit. What amazes me is that they are to fool to eat their dinner but right after they get their deal and finish the agreed upon amount they want their treat. Just doesn't make any since to me. If you're hungry enough for a treat then you're hungry enough for dinner.

CrazieCoconut86's picture

I think yes. But when SS5 gets bored with sitting at the table, or doesn't want to eat what he has been served, he will start in on the games. The other weekend, we had tacos, SS dropped half of what was in the shell on the plate. He said, "My plate is a mess, and I don't have to eat the mess." Uh, NO! He wasn't happy at all when he was given the choice to sit at the table and eat it or go to bed.

Shaman29's picture

In my parents home, yes absolutely.

Not a joke or a slam. This is just the honest to god truth:

My 44 year old husband and his 16 year old daughter cannot manage this feat yet.

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

Yes, a 5 year old SHOULD. How do I know this? Because my oldest 2 are 8 and 13, and they started sitting still through a meal and eating without incident at about 3 years of age. I'm one of those progressive whackadoos that jumped on this crazy bandwagon called "table manners".

Does my 5 year old SD sit up at the table and eat without incident? Very rarely. She is allowed to behave like a barbarian at her mother's house, and she's only here half the time. There is only so much I can do with her when she is allowed to act the fool as soon as she gets back to BM3's house. Evidently they don't often eat at the table, and she only cooks "kid friendly" and "finger foods". Well I don't live on chicken nuggets and macaroni over here. My kids all enjoy a variety of nutritious foods, and they wouldn't make it long on the beans and weenie diet.

luchay's picture

OMG - I think our BM's must be related!!!

I have the same issues, SD11 is pretty good and will eat most of what I put in front of her (ok she will leave the vegies) But ss8 gets finger food! (at home - not in MY house!) He gets nuggets, sandwiches with chocolate spread, sausages in bread, etc.

And they had never sat at the dinner table with a knife and fork! Or been required to close their mouths when chewing, speak politely, ask to leave the table, and remove their plate to the sink...

Astonishing to me, these are all just normal, expected behaviours that my kids started doing as babies! I never did the separate meal times - as soon as they were eating 3 meals they ate them WITH us at the table - of course when they were babies the food was mushed up - but from under 1 they ate pretty much what we did, and sat in the high chair until big enough for a real chair etc. So to my kids these are normal behaviours too, they find the skids mealtime ettiquette VERY ODD!

Unhappy's picture

So it can be done. All three of the kids in our house have horrible table manners. They think it's okay to burp and fart at the table and then laugh about it. Just recently I have implimented the, "if you can't manage to sit at the table without burping, farting, fake burping, fake farting, talking about poo poo and pee pee then you lose your treat," rule. It's quite effective. Once they get that down well move to some other basic rules such as sitting in your chair properly, chewing with your mouth closed, not eating with your fingers.

The reason why I asked this question is because SS5 cannot manage to eat food with out getting it all over his clothes for the most part. Now I know that there are foods such as ribs that are messy and you end up getting it on yourself but it can be some as somple as a pushup icecream. That's what happened last night. He got all of the front of his pajamas and ended up having to change. He's like this with his face as well. My BD will get stuff like pasta sauce on her face when she eats but if you give that boy a bowl of ice cream with chocolate syrup his face will be covered in stickyness.

Whose job is it to teach a child table manners? The parent or the step parent?

luchay's picture

Yes, that was my SS8 too, the first meal here was a rude awakening to both him and me I think LOL

burped, farted, joked about toilet stuff, left the table with his food in his hands....

I made SO get him back to the table.

AFTER dinner when we were alone we discussed (OH and I - not the child LOL) the other manners stuff, which OH implemented. Child now sits at the table and eats for the most part properly, sitting on the chair - working on that one, the manners aspect - a work in progress too - but we are getting there.

BUT - OMG he is SO messy! Always has food all over himself, the chair, the place mat etc. Little pig, and if you point it out he thinks it's funny! SD is better with that, but she does get food all over her place mat. My BD6 isn't as messy as these too, just the occassional spill.

snoopyinoz's picture

In theory YES! But does it happen? Not at my house. The OSD is 11 and still cannot eat without getting it all over her face, clothes, table and floor. I cannot STAND to watch her eat. That and instead of taking a bite and chewing she will literally GNAW her food. I despise watching her eat

mommabear's picture

SS5 cannot so much as have a drink of water without wearing half of it... no kidding!! I am constantly working on table manners with this child...it's hard for me to eat at the same table with him...he's like a pig in a trough and it literally sickens me. He refuses to keep his lips closed while chewing, he talks - YELLS (the child doesn't have a low volume) - with his mouth full, wears everything he eats and drinks from his face to his hands to his clothes, and he still tries to eat everything with his hands...even soup, for God's sake. Now, my 5YO nephew, perfect manners at the table...and my DH considers his son superior to nephew, and all other 5YO's, for that matter. I was able to point this out a few weeks ago when nephew stayed the night with us...the 2 (SS5 and nephew) were eating breakfast together...I asked DH to just watch. He did for a few minutes, never said a word, but he didn't have to... I knew he knew my point... all I said was "SS5 is not better, smarter, or more advanced than nephew, or any other 5YO for that matter...hope you can see that now!"

Ommy's picture

A child of Divorce can not possibly be expected to have table manors. :sick: It is too much of a stress for them to learn. :sick: After all their Bio parents want them to have FUN at all times and learning is not part of having a fun experience. :sick:

rjdeandg's picture

my bd5 has always been a very neat eater even as a toddler, but my bd4 cannot so much as eat an m&m without being covered in chocolate. sd6 is a clean eater too thank god. Sadly though its also my bd4 who sits at the table and does the fake burping and farting, maybe it just depends on the kid?

realitycheckmom's picture

DD3 has no problem eating and not making a mess. SS9 leaves at least half his plate on the table, chair, floor and himself. Oh and don't expect him to clean it up. If you point it out he actually doesn't believe he did it.

imthewife's picture

HA! As I saw above....it is SO true.....

EVERY friggin' time I put the cleam linen tablecloth on...DH or SD would spill.

Five year olds should be able to follow the basic rule to be careful and not to spill...but things happen.

As long as it's not intentional...just keep guiding to be clean and neat...make it a contest...whoever keeps their part of the table neatest...gets the first bowl of ice cream...or whatever!

Ommy's picture

It is funny that you say as long as it is not intentional. My SD5 will dump a plate of food on the ground so she doesn't have to eat it. So my being SM of the Year gets her another plate with even more to eat.