So after posting earlier today I was able to calm down a little bit and think about everything a little more clearly. I called DH to discuss some of the ideas that I had in regards to SS's behavior.

1.) This behavior typically only happens when it's BM week or when BM is dropping SS off at the beginning of DH's week at school.

2.) Even though it's important to SS to go to school it's not fair to SS or DH by us punishing SS on our time for the stuff he's doing on BM's week especially if she is causing it by not listening to anybody and dropping SS off when she knows that he will probably freak out. DH has already asked her to stop taking SS to school until she gets things firgured out on her end and to have someone else take him to daycare and then have daycare drop him off. (Which is free BTW.) BM is refusing to do it because she doesn't want to have to depend on anybody else. That's great but it's not about BM it's about SS going to school which is more important then BM's wants and this is by no means a permanent fix.

3.) DH needs to let her know that if SS gets kicked out of kindergarten and she can't make him go to daycare either, how is she going to work?

4.) DH needs to let her know that they will be following the CO and do the exchanges at 6 pm on Sunday night instead of BM taking him to school on the folllowing day in order to prevent SS from freaking out on DH's week. If he has a temper tantrum at the time of the exchange at least it will be on Sunday night and not at school.

5.) DH needs to email SS's teacher to let her know everything that he is doing to prevent another outburst at school, that he has told BM repeatedly not to drop him off until she figures out how to get control of the situation and that she is refusing to do so, and that he can only parent on his time and has no authority to parent on BM's time.

6.) DH needs to tell BM that he has no porblem helping her with this but if she continues to set SS up for failure that he will not offer his assistance. He will no longer be rushing to the school when it's her time and she decided to drop SS off at school and freaks out. That it's her time and she needs to figure it out. DH can't continue to take time off of work in order to try and parent SS for BM.

7.)We need to work on more positive reinforcement with SS when he is with us in regards to his tantrums. Maybe do a sticker chart and everytime he has a good day he puts a sticker on it. When it gets to the end of the week without any temper tantrums I will take him out on a date. Some place like Chuckie Cheeses or to play laser tag. I've already talked to SS about it and he seemed really excited.

We typically don't deal with this type of behavior from him. Yes he does have temper tantrums with us but not to this extreme. We shouldn't have to punish SS because BM has no clue what she is doing. If anything she is building a case against herself for trying to get full custody. If she chooses to keep doing what she's doing she's on her own with it. DH and I will not help her parent her kids on her time.

SS really is a sweet kid when he's not having a huge fit. He's very lovey and fun to be around for the most part. I was really angry with him yesteday for almost causing a car accident while I was driving and everything else that happened, but he's not a bad kid. He just needs set boundaries consistency from DH. I've gotten to the point with DH where I don't even mention punishment. I refer to it as parenting because that's what it is.