Dh just left to take ss home...thank goodness!! Ss13 is getting 'braver' as faras his attitude towards me. Typical teen I guess, but only towards me, not dh. Where do I start?

1-sat time ss was over he used permanent black marker to write his initials on a brick smack in the front of our house...that we are RENTING! Our landlord hasn't seen it yet, thank goodness. So this weekend I told him he had to fix it by the time he left. He ignored me. Each time I reminded him he had an excuse. Today I finally told him if he didn't do it then he'd be grounded next time he came over. Dh ended up fixing it. Whatever. I DID tell ss that he needs to change his attitude and that I k nw I'm not his mom but he still has to listen to me and follow MY rules as long as he is in MY home. I told dh what I told ss and he didn't get mad. He wants ss to be different but doesn't want to parent him.

2- not a big deal but ss drank my last few soft drinks. Soft drinks are a treat. I don't drink so will treat myself to a soda now and then. I can keep a 12pm in the fridge for weeks. The kids know those are mine. Ss usually never drinks them either...til this weekend. I had 2-3 left. Gone today. I never saw him take them but today as I went to get one they were gone. Dh had already left to take ss home and all he said was to get over it.

3- dh is frustrated at the fighting. Sure our bios argue, but it's different. They make up and truy love each other. They are best friends (16mths apart) and truly enjoy each other's company. They protect each other. When ss fights with them it's different. I guess maybe because it roots with more bad intent than when the bios argue. I don't know if ss loves them. It felt like he wanted to start fights with them this weekend almost like he liked upsetting them. No remorse. When the bios argue thu cry when they get caught and evencry when they upset the other. Dh doesn't see the difference. He's forcing them to get along with ss but the bios are wanting less & less of ss. Dh blames me that I've created the animosity. He doesn't get that ss did that on his own. And dh added to it.

4-dh made ss apologize to dd6. This was funny. My rule for apologies is you must say what you are sorry for then hug. First off after dh told him to apologize he walked into dd's room and pretended to apologize. Dd wasn't even in there! So I asked if he did what his dad told him to do. So ss mumbled 'sorry' to dd. I prompted 'sorry for what?' ss- idk. Me-ok, go talk to your dad a d tell him you don't know what you are sorry for. Honey, ss doesn't know what he is sorry for, can you help him? (sarcastically). Ss finally apologized then got mad when I made him give her a hug. He stormed out.

5- dh wants to take ss on his first family vacation with us this summer. I told dh that was fine but we needed to get 2 rooms (I don't feel comfortable sharing a room with a teen boy, esp when I'm still nursing my baby.) AND we would get to take a trip without ss too. He agreed. Even after all the fighting dh still wants to take a
trip with ss. He kept repeating, "can you imagine 6hrs in the car with this?!". I told him that is why I never looked forward to taking a trip with ss- because it wouldn't be a vacation, but a stressor. Then I suggested
we could cancel the trip with ss since we haven't paid for anything or told any kids of our plans anyway. He didn't say anything. Here's hoping...!

I could go on, but basically everything ss did just got on my nerves this weekend. It was a long weekend of ss acting like he's 8 but with the attitude of a teen. Oh, and I was looking at the calendar- 3 whole weekends of no ss. Yep, we have ss most of the summer! Why didn't the world end yesterday?