My Labor Day weekend
Let's see...here is how our weekend with ss went:
1. Ss started off mad Friday because he missed a football game & bm rubbed it in his face thT he was missing it because he had to go with dh.
2. Ss cried fri night because dh didn't buy him something at hhe store (oh, the horror!)
3. Ss cried sat morning because dh had other plans than what ss wanted to do
4. Ss got happy again when dh allowed him to stay with my mil to do what ss wanted to do anyway while we carried on with dh's plans. (no ss for few hours yea!)
5. Ss cried when hewas disrespectful to dh & dh put him in his place (go dh!)
6. Ss found out he was staying til Monday and not Sunday because of the holiday.
7. Bm tells ss 'no, you come back sunday.' (wrong bm!)
8. Bm drama begins as she tries to pick up ss a day early. Threatens to call the cops on us. Idle threats. I'm still waiting on them to show up... 
9. Bm makes ss cry by telling him he's missing all the fun plans because his dad is keeping him an extra day.
Is it Monday yet?? Lots of tears. And ss is stb13!
As some may remember this was the weekend dh & I were going to a football game togther- no kids. Ss as well as our bios stayed with mil & ss was having fun. We went to our game/date which unfortunately was hijacked by voicemails, texts and emails from bm trying to get a hold of ss to pick him up early. (She thought he was supposed to go back today but apparently hasn't read our order.) So the entire time dh was stressing out about that instead of enjoying ourselves. Oh well, I had fun. And ss is still with us so dh is happy. We have had no problems when the new order was signed earlier this year, but troubles are starting again. Let the games begin...!
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Comments
Sounds like it's been a tough
Sounds like it's been a tough one. So sorry to hear - you should definitely take some chill time this evening. Maybe a bubble bath and a glass of wine?
I think SS has a lot of
I think SS has a lot of unresolved issues with DH.
Didn't DH only start enforcing visitation a few months ago? I think SS needs to see a therapist. He obviously hade a lot of hurt over not seeing DH for a long period of time. I also think that's why he acts out towards BS-BS gets a full-time dad and gets to do fun stuff that all boys love to do with their dads and SS did not. I think SS has a lot of questions, like "why did Dad start choosing to see me all-of-a-sudden 6 months ago? Why didn't he do this from the get-go?"
Please get SS some professional help.
You are right about
You are right about counseling. I actually wanted to have dh out him in years ago when he was coming frequently. But dh is against any counseling and bm would have a cow if we did anyway. So as the lone person who feels that way I just stay out if it. And you are right about him probably wondering why dad wants to see him now all of a sudden. I think bm tells ss the ony reason dh sees him is because they went to court. And she is right in a sense. She is the one who wanted to go to court for more cs. But it was dh that said countered for updated visitation schedule since we now live out of town. So dh initiated the visitation issue. But we don't tell ss anything about court or any of it. We never talk bad about his mom or even talk about her at all. And yes, I think you are right about that is why he lashes out at bs. He has been jealous of bs since before bs was born! And yeah, bs gets daddy everyday. I agree with you completely but like I said, if ss parents don't really see the problem then I just stay out. I did spend the first years of my marriage trying to be a second mom and stepmom of the year. Not anymore. Now I'm just tryingto adapt to having him again before I start engaging again.
The weekend wasn't too bad
The weekend wasn't too bad really. Just lots of tears from ss. He has always been a crier. When he was younger we thought it was his age, but now we don't baby it and just ignore it. His mood changes within the hour anyway. We I'd have some laughs on bm's expense-
- where are you? I'm calling the cops on you. (really...how if you don't know where we are.)
- you're breaking the court order, I've already left a messgae and am waiting on a call back (hmm...on a Sunday? Of a holiday weekend? And who exactly is going to be at work right now?)
Bm just doesn't think an we got a kick out of it. We also didn't play her games or argue with her. We just told her the facts and ignored her til she calmed down and realized she was wrong. It's nice nit to fight back sometimes. And dh and I were a team this weekend too and that is always good. He even explained to ss that he has 4 kids...not 1. He did it in a nice way and ss understood- no tears either! Thankg goodness the weekend is almost overthough!
Why didn't you let BM take
Why didn't you let BM take the kid and enjoy your Labor Day? At least you would have had one day without listening to the baby whine and cry. My Labor Day stinks too because skid11 is here. It is a gorgeous weekend and we can't do anything because skid sits in his room glued to his video games and dad wants to be his buddy rather than his dad so he let's him rot his brain all day and never step outside. He comes out of his room only to be served dinner. Once in a blue moon he turns on cartoons like a 5 year old and dad and skid laugh at Sponge Bob like retards. Anyway, dad also won't leave him alone by himself because if BM finds out she calls to bitch him out. So we waste a 3 day weekend in this house/prison. BM in our case never wants her kid around and dumps him on us for most weekends especially 3 day ones. If she ever wanted him early (I laugh at the idea) I would jump for joy. Why not enjoy your blessing?
He lives with bm. Dh only
He lives with bm. Dh only sees him eow ad since a new order was set this year we are really trying to stick with the schedule. In the past, if dh gave in to her then she would see it as an ok to take advantage of him.
Examples-
bm- can I bring ss after the town football game
dh- sure no prob
dh- (4 hours later) where is ss?
bm- (no answer and ignores all calls that weekend)
Dh also went from going outside what the order said & allowing bm to have ss each Christmas eve and dh would get him when they were done til bm wanted him
back a few days later to 3 Christmases where dh couldn't get a hold of her. We had 2 years of saved presents that we finally sold in a garage sale because he outgrew the things.
So if he gave her that day she would expect other exceptions later and he doesn't want thatto start again. Plus she could always use it against dh and say that he went against the order and allowed her to take him early. Or eventry to twist it and say we wanted to get rid of him early. So just trying to play by the book. But yeah, that would've been nice!