is it normal to feel like a total outsider in your own home
Disclaimer: Im preggo and my emotions have been running wild these past few days, but please give me some advise on how to make things easier.
I really feel that my husband and his ex are way to close. Though I dont think he would ever want her back, it still just freaks me out a bit.
The ex calls my husband all the time. They do have children together and most of the time it about the children, but a lot of the stuff they discuss is stuff that him and the kids can talk about. The kids are 22 and 12.
Yesterday my step son who is 22 was involved in a motorcyle wreak. HE IS OK. Just cut up. After I told my husband that he needed to go to the emergency room to be with him...I was proud of myself. I didnt go because it was not my place to. But once my husband got home he talked about how glad the ex was to see him and and everything is now "We". He is talking about him and his ex. "We" will figure out what to do. "We" dont need that many band-aids.
It really makes me emotional to hear this. I am trying to stay out of the picture, bit I just feel like it is me and my baby inside me.
His step son is 22 years old I personally think that he can tell his dad how he feels...he doesnt need his momma to do it for him.
Again, this is not the first time things like this have happend so please no one start on me being jealous and all that cause I am far from it. I just feel alone and need people to talk to.
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I see what you are saying and
I see what you are saying and agree to a certain point. I have done the whole going to the er before with him and I set in the waiting room.
At some point, it would have been nice to hear him say, Are you coming with me. At least make me feel like im wanted.
I come from a divorced family and the last thing I want is for his kids to say I kept him from them. Thats why I told him he needed to go.
Rather than chastise you for
Rather than chastise you for being such a terrible wife for not going to the hospital????? I can see that the main point of your post is that you are uncomfortable with the relationship that your hubby and his ex-wife have. This is not something that just happened with your SS's accident, this has obviously been going on all along.
My hubby LOATHES his ex, but when she calls (even for stupid sh*t that does not pertain to Skids) he entertains her basically to keep the peace. If he were to tell her to stop calling for stupid sh*t, or not answer her calls the sh*t would hit the proverbial fan! there would be nasty messages, she'd call 40000 times until he finally got ticked and picked up, or play games with him not seeing his son for weeks. He would end up furious, with his blood pressure through the roof, and our day would be ruined. I too used to get angry with him for entertaining her, because I felt that it encouraged her to think he was her "friend". However, after seeing her in action.. I totally understand what hubby is doing. He is just trying to save the drama.
have you talked to your hubby about how you feel? I would be willing to bet that if you did, he would probably tell you the same things.. he entertains her to keep the peace...
Thank you Daizy Duke for
Thank you Daizy Duke for giving advise like I asked for.
I have talked to him and your right its all about keeping the peace.
Just hurts sometimes.
It really has to do with the whole ex's family. My husband lets his bd and the ex-grandmother come over to mine and my husbands house and swim. Talk about really hurting me.
Divorce is not easy...i am a factor of a divorced family, but people divorce for a reason and i think there needs to be a point when you cut the ties from the whole EX.
I went with my DH to see SD
I went with my DH to see SD when she was in the hospital after having emergency c-section. First time, only SD and her BF (baby daddy) was in the room. When we came in, she started crying and said she didn't think we'd come. She squeezed my hand so tight, I couldn't believe it.
Second time we visited, BM was in the room and refused to let me in to visit SD. So there I am, feeling like a total outsider, standing outside the room while DH and BM are in SD's hospital room together.
DH said that it was very awkward and that him and his daughter weren't able to talk much with BM being there.
My insecurity acted up and I got mad and let it out at DH when we left of why I couldn't see SD when I'd been part of her life for most of it. Of course, DH got defensive and felt like he was getting it from both me and BM.
I guess my point is, if I would have known that I wouldn't be allowed in the room, I would have stayed home, too, and saved a lot of stress and hurt feelings.