I am really having a hard time dealing with this. Two years ago my ss, who is not 22, decided to drop out of college (college is not right for everyone). He had a few student loans. He was suppose to start paying them back and told his parents that he was.

For some reason he had his dad's address and his moms cell phone number and email account on the file. This was before my time so I dont know all the details of why this happend.

Well a few months ago his father and I started getting smail mail from his loan company. I DID NOT open them because they have nothing to do with me. But, I did tell my husband and he told me he would call and tell his son they were at the house and he needed to come pick them up. Well, after the second and third letter, I discussed with my husband that something might be wrong with this and he needed to check into it.

Ok...my husband said he talked to his son and they were just statements and that he had the money automatically taken out of his checking account each month. His father tells him again to come get his mail.

5 months go by and finally I open on up. I have student loans and pay mine on a monthly basis so I know what they look like and I could tell this was not right. My husband calls his son again and his son tells him the same story and it was nothing. ok whatever... I washed my hands of it. Im pregenate and dont need the stress.

Two days ago the BM calls my husband, whining and complaing about not having any money and told him she just got a call from the loan provider and the ss has NOT been paying his bills and he needed to get caught up or he was going to be turned over to a collection agency.

My husband call me and asks me to see what was going on since I have loans and know about them.

Well I found out that the company had be sold and you had to re acctive your your account once this happend. I found out by reading the letters that Had been setting in his room at our house for 5 months!

I thought about it and told my husband that I didnt mind paying the debt back, but in return I wanted his ss to paint two bedrooms at the house and help build a wall and pack some things up.

Well after this, around 9 30 my husband call his ex and is SOOOOOOO nice to her. His exact words, "I hope I didnt wake you" Im sorry to bother you, but I am going to pay for the debt. It isnt the ss fault, who changes things like that and doesnt make a phone call. Its not your fault or my fault.

OMG OMG OMG.....I was bitting nails at this point. He did not mention that I had offerd to pay but wanted work out of it....HELLLO THE KID IS AN ADULT! HE needs to pay for his debt!

What the heck. I cannot have any respect. I love my husband so much but when talks to his ex his whole way he acts changes and its lets see what we can do for her. Who cares that we are in the hole that money and probably wont make the son to crap for it.

But, the answer he give me....is You will understand why I do this when you have the baby until then you dont have a clue.......ARRRRGGGGGGGGG!

Anyone have to deal with this..... any advise