Do children of bipolar parents become like their parents?

My spouse's ex wife is known around town (no, not making this up) for being a bully to her two ex-husbands, their new spouses/GFs/dates and to her own children (oh, the stories). I don't know her, tried to never interact with her, but everywhere I go, everyone just comes out and tells me how psycho she is. My spouse has confirmed that she is bipolar and I have seen texts that go from abusive to "oh, I'm sorry, did I hurt your feelings", then back to "you and your GF are [...]". Anyways, I have set my foot down with my spouse and said I do not want to hear anything she says or does, unless I see a letter from the Courts, CPS or the attorneys. Well, there were false accusations and she got shut down by the authorities. She stalked me, lied that she overheard me saying I want to kill her, etc. etc. I am sure this will not be the end of her madness and spite. The question is, though: the 3 year old they share is showing signs of anger, and I do not mean regular fussing, he just loses it over the smallest little things like what cup he wants his water in, has hit my kids in the past when he didn't succeed at doing something they were all playing (they are all toddlers). Anyways, I am seeing signs of extreme emotions in this kid, and I am starting to get scared for myself, my kids later on, and my mental peace (I mean, he SCREAMS and throws himself around and hits his head on the floor at least half of our parenting time with him). I love him, but always find ways to not be around when he is around, just because I cannot take the noise and madness. He frustrates his dad, and I have coached them both how to take a step back, resolve things like adults, explain when something is not possible (e.g. when mine get vocal, I explain to them that we do not have crackers at this moment, and they calm down when I explain and offer them something else, but this little kid screams until everybody wants to just hide, for hours, in public, at home, anywhere). I try to interact constructively with the little guy, read to him, draw, play, build, but he starts bullying me and I feel like I am being abused and just want to flea to the other room. Help! Should I get out to protect our sanity? We have been together a year, and it has gotten worse.

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No, we are engaged, but

No, we are engaged, but marriage is for me a very far thought, mainly because of this madness. And, I am not a proponent of medicating, for my own children, and definitely do not want a say in what they do with their child. Because of this chaotic scenario, I try to even not be around that much. The bio mom AND the child scare me. I don't want them to hurt my children later on. I am wondering if the little kid will take after his mother.

well, i heard her over the

well, i heard her over the phone raging, i have seen the abusive texts of "you are worthless", and, well, i cannot disclose the events, but we have run into each other, i cannot disclose the events, but she acted very inappropriately in public and was escorted by the authorities. so, yes, i know for a fact she is unstable. we have a very stable environment, very calm, we talk to them on their eye-level, no shouting, no raging, we hardly every discipline, maybe a time-out a week, we are very involved with all the children, so they do not get to the point of abusing anyone or themselves, but i cannot see dealing with a little drama queen step child on an everyday basis long term. i was wondering if anyone has seen their kids/step-kids pick up on their parents' mental illness and then what? (Oh, speaking of PAS- it is a severe case in her case. If she could get away with it, she would hurt me).