Please help- cell phone issue
9yr old SD was given an iPhone as a third grade graduation present from hex. I do not want her to have it here at all. Hex is high conflict and sd loses everything. I do not want to be held accountable for a lost iPhone, and hex has already told sd since I am not technically family I'm not allowed to be in her phone. DH is fine with it here IF sd asks permission to pick up or make a phone call. So far sd has not been answering the phone when hex calls and texts bc she is too busy playing/watching tv/doing other things then staring at a phone. This is pissing hex off.
Court order stipulates that either party is able to call/FaceTime whenever the other one has SD. Mentions nothing about cell phones. DH always lets sd talk to her or calls her back if we miss the call.
Hex now emailed asking DH what his objections are to sd having the phone and her calling SDs phone.
How should he phrase his response?
Please tell me that the court won't ever side with hex on wanting us never to take SD's phone. It's DH house, Dhs rules. He should be able to decide. DH tells me he doesn't want it here either, but doesn't want to be the bad guy and take it away completely. Sigh.
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He should let her know that
He should let her know that in his house a child is not allowed to have unlimited access to electronics. This has been proven to be detrimental to their brain development. However he understands she would like to contact SD vie her iPhone and so to prevent the phone being lost, damaged or used excessively SD will be available between 5-7pm to talk to her mother. If something comes up and SD will not be available until later he will use SDs phone to text BM and let her know so BM doesn't 'miss' the call (miss means ignore in the Real World). Otherwise SDs phone will be kept charged and in his dresser.
This means you or DH can text BM and she does not know who is texting her. This makes it perfectly clear BM has access to her daughter however it is on DHs terms. And DH is be a 'responsible parent' by not allowing his young daughter to be glued to the phone and creating extremely bad habits.
I agree with this 300%. BM
I agree with this 300%. BM needs boundaries and not an umbilical cord to your house.
Many valid and excellent
Many valid and excellent points! Thank you
Exactly my thoughts. This is
Exactly my thoughts.
This is a hook and line to try and "catch" DH writing something that she could use in court. It's her attempt to make an issue where there really is none.
I totally agree. BM provided
I totally agree. BM provided SD with a cell phone at a young (too young, IMO) age. Next thing you know, SD is constantly on her phone texting or talking to BM. SD is crying when DH tries to take phone away from her because she is on it in the middle of the night!
SD is pased out and has been for years.
SS 8 got a brand spanking new
SS 8 got a brand spanking new iphone for Christmas. Dh told twat waffle flat out that it was not coming into our house, mostly for the same reasons you mentioned (high conflict, shit stirring, spying bm). When she asked, "Why?" Dh replied that he would not be responsible for the phone should it be broken, lost, a pigeon shit on it, spontaneous combustion, etc. End of discussion. If the cloven hoofed one needs to reach ss, she calls dh's phone.