Everything Has been just weighing on me. The whole drama with SD18 and BM's sister, SD16 being pregnant and needing support. BM causing drama from behing bars and putting up with DH slacking. After dealing with all of that I have to deal with early menopause. I just went outside and had a mini cigar. DH walks out back to see me sitting on DD's picnic table lit cigar in hand one finger to my forhead deep in thought. I was just talking to myself in italian just mumbling and ranting. He sat by me and rubbed my back and I calmy told him everything I'm wrestling with and how I feel. He hired an at home massage therapist to come everyday after I get off work for a week. He went out and got my favorite dessert wine. So now I am feeling the holiday spirit a little.