What a day....
This is updates to my grandparents blog, I didn't want them lost in the comments:
Ok so update:
I called DH at work to let him know what FIL is planning (since he said they're going to call him at work if I dont call back). He has done his usual "switch off" thing and would not agree with me that this should not be happening. I went to my moms house to vent. Well I'm home now and I don't know if he rushed home to help them or not but the papers are in the same place they were in when I left and he's not here, hes at work.
This is sooo wrong and I hope the lawyer they talk to tell them they have no case.
Update to the update:
FILs GF just called and left a message for DH on the answering machine. I guess he has tried to find the forms. Shes telling him not to worry about looking for them to just get more copies from the court registry and fax them. FUCK! This is not right and this could be the end of me and DH. If he is going to help them start more shit that does not need to be started then he can FUCK OFF. NO ONE deserves to be harassed with court cases. SHE WON. BOTTOM LINE! Leave it the fuck alone untill she messes up again. This is DUMB and CRUEL. FIL couldn't have been bothered to see SD when she was around more and now he wants to drag BM to court without even talking to her? WTF! Goddamnit I'm shaking again. I can't keep dealing with this shit. They are just being mean right now. This is no way in the best interest of the child. This is just spiteful shit.
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Comments
I agree with you. Why can't
I agree with you. Why can't people just stop looking after their own agendas and look after the kids best interests?
I think I'm going to have an
I think I'm going to have an axiety attack waiting for DH to come home. FILs GF has a masters degree in Behavioural Studies so she could just be trying to get me to react in a way that would make DH turn against me. I'm losing my mind. I'm sick to my stomache, shaking and cold. And now to top it all off I'm paranoid. I'm sorry to keep blogging today but if I dont feel like I'm talking to someone I may just curl up on the floor and cry, or do something dumb like call BM before I talk to DH.
*anxiety
*anxiety
Just try to take a mental
Just try to take a mental step away from all this right now before you have a breakdown. You're not going to get anywhere with DH if your all wond up over this. Go take a warm bath, drink a glass of wine or hot cider. When DH gets home just let him talk. Ask him questions to keep him talking to you. It will get you inform on what's going on in his head and you wont need to stress out about what to say to him so much. Get all the info and let the dust settle. This overbearing FIL business with BM isn't going to change things overnight. Just try to relax.
I have to agree that DH should be the one to tell BM about FIL demands but not too sure if he should say anything for a few days. Everyone needs to decompress a little.
DH needs to stress to his dad that he doesn't need to go through the court system to see his grandkid not yet anyways. Unless Grandpa is unfit, DH can talk to BM about their daughter seeing him. If the kid is 12 or older, she'll have a right to say no. Food for thought.
Thanks for your reply. Part
Thanks for your reply. Part of why I'm all wound up I guess is the fact that I have to go work with some youth this evening doing volenteer stuff. It sucks to be around them when I'm in a bad mood because they usually see it. I just want him to tell me that he agrees that what his father is doing is rash and mean. Idk I thought this stuff was over for awhile.
Maybe just step aside for a
Maybe just step aside for a bit and ddisengage. Let DH handle it for a bit. Not sure if that's an option but i think if I were you I'd be like" this is your drama, you can deal because I can't."
You're probably doing
You're probably doing volenteer work currently (kudos to you btw) but just hang in there. I figure you've got yourself married to a dramatic family with all the raging feelings to go with it. In FIL's mind he's thinking since BM has full custody now he won't be able to see his grandkid unless he goes to court. He's old school so don't blame him too much (at least in this incident).
I'm sure your DH sees the tyrantical approach his dad is displaying but its a jagged pill to swallow. No one likes to see their parents being jerks but will get defensive when someone implies it. Just support him through this craziness and he'll appreciate it greatly. If you make suggestions expect him to balk a little but he'll think about it later and might act on it. For his pride's sake he'll keep it to himself. Meanwhile, take care of yourself so you can continue to be the good person you are.
"The man is the head but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head anyway she wants"--Maria Portokalos/ My Big Fat Greek Wedding.
Thetis - so what happened?
Thetis - so what happened? Are you ok? I am so sorry you are going through this, that sucks-!! HUGS
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think."
Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)So what happened... DH had a
So what happened...
DH had a blow up on the phone with FIL (who would not admit to wanting to go to court or even seeing a lawyer, even though its on the answering machine.)
DH also blew up at FILs girlfriend who seems to think I am "the root of all evil" who lies about everything. She talks to my answering machine now and DH has reminded her that I am NOT his secretary.
(Ohh I was so proud of how he stood up to them and called them on their twisted perception of the truth)
He has backed the idea that if we hear anything about FIL taking BM to court we will tell her, and worse case senario stand beside her. We do not want this judge to think that nothing has been learnt from this whole trial ordeal. He has tied himself to the case for a year and we need to be on his good side.
Kudos! Your DH stood up to
Kudos! Your DH stood up to his father and that girlfriend that calls herself a behavioral therapist. I pity the fool that goes to her for help.
It is very big of you and DH to stand beside BioMom especially who's won custody against you. Most people would have condoned or promoted FIL antics but you guys knew it was wrong. You can see the forest through the trees dear.