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Is Spring Break Over Yet?

the_stepmonster's picture

I'm ready for Spring Break to be over. The mini-wives have been here since Sunday night and every day they manage to make a disaster of the bathroom, the bedroom and the game room. I'm talking everyday they take all their clothes out of their dresser and they end up in all three rooms, they manage to knock down the towel holders and not pick them up, leave wet towels everywhere and then ask for a new towel everyday as if I am running a hotel, etc. That doesn't even include the constant fighting and "Daddydaddydaddy" that I have to hear every 5 seconds.

Last night DH FINALLY had enough of their fighting and sent them to bed at 9pm. I was so happy that he put his foot down and got after them. I was starting to worry that he was going deaf. Not 10 minutes of them being upstairs in their room, SD10 comes down, starts her dramatics, saying she is sorry, etc., and next thing you know they are spooning on the couch together. Seriously??

Today they are all supposed to go camping in the back yard. Which we all know means more spooning, just not where I can see it. DH was insistent on taking them camping like 2 hours away when I politely reminded him that I am 32 weeks pregnant and am not comfortable with him taking a mini-wife vacation so far away. So they win again. They have stolen my pregnant food and now my husband. I'm so ready for this to be over.

Comments

Anon2009's picture

What does DH do when they make these messes, and act out? Does he enforce rules and consequences?

If he doesn't, then HEand his bad parenting are the problem and your stepkids and their behaviors are results of the problem.

Things stand a much better chance of improving when the real problem is addressed. A serious but calm discussion about this situation is in order. You can and should present it in a light where you say you care about the girls and want what's best for them, and that you want to help them become successful adults. They will have to adhere to rules in the workplace and at school, like cleaning up after themselves, treating others with respect, and working out disagreements with others calmly. It would really help them in the long run if he started implementing these rules at your home. They would be much more prepared for the real world and would stand much less of chances at getting hurt and failing in the real world. He can and should show each of them affection. He should also be teaching them life lessons.

About camping in the backyard, I did it with my dad too as a young kid. It was a blast.

the_stepmonster's picture

He makes them clean up their mess every single day and they complain and whine the entire time. You would think they would learn to just not make the damn mess and there wouldn't be anything to clean, but I guess not.

Anon2009's picture

Hopefully, they'll grow out of it.

I wonder what BM and her mom do about this. Is one of your SDs still with her Grandma? Would Grandma be receptive to your DH talking with her about this, so you all can be on the same page in nipping these behaviors in the bud? Maybe he could find a way to suggest/ask Grandma to talk with BM about this.

If you don't think that's possible, the best possible option is for him to be consistent on enforcing these rules. They should lose the same privilege each time they do these things. And it should be privileges they care about. For the oldest, it might mean losing the iPod for the night. For the middle one, it might mean no tv for the night. For the youngest, it might mean losing her favorite toy for the rest of the day.

It sounds like there's some upheaval going on in their lives too- I think DH needs to address this with them and let him know they can come talk to him about the problems going on in their lives, but they cannot make messes.