O/T: Another MIL Rant
I guess the holidays emphasize MIL issues because I had thankfully not thought about this woman in quite a while. DH and I were engaged last June and were married this past May. Last year, DH and I and his kids drove the 3 hours to his mother's house to spend Christmas Day with her. While there, she did not once acknowledge my existence, I offered to help in the kitchen and was shooed away, she asked zero questions about our wedding and, as we were leaving, gave the steps a present from her to their mother right in front of me. DH and BM have been divorced since 2006 and never talk.
DH and I planned a destination wedding because we just wanted a small ceremony with the people who are most important to us. My entire family and several friends paid out of pocket their way to the destination in order to celebrate with us. I felt so blessed. DH on the other hand paid for MIL's plane ticket and her hotel room. She was to arrive the day before the wedding on the same flight as DH's brother. When BIL arrives, he calls DH and tells him "Mom told me to tell you she's not coming." Just like that. For the mother/son dance, DH danced with my mother and I cried knowing how much it hurt him that his mother was not there.
I do not know what this woman has against me or why she is so spiteful, but I have concluded that I absolutely do not like her.
Fast forward to this past weekend. DH has decided that we should all (Me, him, kids, BIL, SIL) go down and have Thanksgiving with MIL. And given that last year MIL made a tiny cold turkey, some dry mashed potatoes and corn in a can, we should bring Thanksgiving dinner to her. According to DH, when they were younger she would sometimes just go down to the Popeye's and get them fried chicken for Thanksgiving dinner. DH says that he will do all the work (he obviously has no idea what is involved in cooking a Thanksgiving dinner) and even stated that I could stay home if I wanted. In my opinion, he is my husband and I go where he goes. Which I guess means that I am going and helping make this ungrateful and spiteful woman Thanksgiving dinner. I guess there is no advice anyone can give but thanks for letting me vent.
- the_stepmonster's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
No advice here since you know
No advice here since you know what to do, but I sure as hell wouldn't be going. She will not change and that whole situation is uncomfortable. I have no relationship with MIL and have no need to. Thankfully they live several states away and I do not have to see them. The shame is that DH and I would like to go back to his hometown so that I can see the places he talks about, but we would have to do it and not tell anyone. What a shame that it has to be like that. His brother and SIL and the other siblings have no place in my life after all the things they have done with regards to BM and Facebook...MIL has called me all sorts of names and blames me for the situation with my SD. They are not in my life and their is no way in hell I will ever eat any meal with them again.
Call me a "money grubbing whore" and that is what you get....
tell dh you want to start the
tell dh you want to start the tradition of having tday dinner at your house.
i started this last year so i don't get pushed around by mil's schedule.... she still has her dinner and i have mine MINUS her & sil...... }:) i mean they are invited, of course, but it's impossible for them to be at two places at the same time.... }:) }:)
I forgot the part where he
I forgot the part where he wants to do Thanksgiving dinner on the weekend before or after Thanksgiving. So we will be able to have our normal tradition (all of us going to my parents' home) in addition to this uncomfortable Thanksgiving dinner. How sweet of DH to be flexible, right? :sick:
I resent doing anything that involves me going out of my way for her when she couldn't be bothered with attending an all expenses paid vacation to the Bahamas.
I think you are a little
I think you are a little misguided with the "I got where he goes" thing. You don't go where he goes when you are treated like crap. You are having Thanksgiving with your family so this isn't Thanksgiving. I wouldn't go.
I definitely dont subscribe
I definitely dont subscribe to the whole "where he goes I go". I've opted out of the last few T-givings at his aunt's house (home base for his side of the family)simply because I dont enjoy it. He himself opted out last year. Some of his aunts and cousins are OK-I cant say much beyond this as noone is ever very interested in speaking to me. I try to be understanding as they dont get together all that much and they all want to catch up with each other-but quite frankly after almost 11 years of marriage I barely know the names of all his aunts/uncles and cousins. It's not really fun sitting by myself in a chair with noone to speak to. So I stopped going.
Things are FAR worse this year as MIL has definitely crossed the line into thinking I am a total piece of shit and evidently being willing to treat me as such. There is no way in hell I'd show up anywhere near her or her family. So I opted to plan a family getaway for my immediate family-we are going to the mountains for 4 days. I cant wait. Wish i had the cash to plan a trip away at xmas too!
I dont quite understand why you would want to torture yourself. This is your holiday too-you should be able to enjoy yourself and surrounding yourself with a bitter old woman who treats you as if you are invisitble doesnt sound like a good way to enjoy yourself.