What a Pain in the Ass!
I can not stand this up and down thing with my SD9. One day she's nice and the next, shes like a little Satan. I look directly into this childs eyes while she is doing something mean spirited, and there is no emotion.
I can just be sitting there doing something, and she will look for me to do or say something mean. This morning for example, I am standing there looking in the mirror getting ready for work. She comes up, and says "Excuse Me!" even though there is plenty of room for her to walk by. So I say "walk around", and then she has the nerve to say "Why don't you move?" !!!!!
I swear to God! Sometimes I don't know what is wrong with this child. I have worked, sweat and cared for her since she was 2 years old. No other woman in her life has taking care of her like I have. I have given this child 110% while her birth mom has given her 10%. And I swear when ever the birth mom throws her a crumb of attention, my SD9 acts like her birth mom is some amazing god that can do no wrong. It ridiculous.
And my SD9 seems to get off on being mean to me when ever she feels like it. When she's sad, angry or just plan bored. I dont want to think of my child as evil. But it is just really hard to understand how she can be so heartless to someone that loves and provides for her daily. Makes me not want to be in the same house as her.
If it where not for my oldest step daughter, who is so amazing, I would have left the situation a long time ago.
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Comments
I have a friend who toiled
I have a friend who toiled for years for her stepkids. She divorced later & those kids NEVER came by to see her. She is sorry she made the investment.
I am not saying that this will happen to you, just be aware that after much effort & love, the kid can turn. (and they can turn either way)
Angel - this is my worst
Angel - this is my worst fear. That I will give this child all that I have and she will never be grateful. I want to cry instantly when I think of this possibility.
RealMom If you do something
RealMom
If you do something for the child it must be done without expecting ANYTHING in return except perhaps points in heaven. If you are expecting any semblance of gratitude, don't do it.
You didn't say "Excuuuuuuse
You didn't say "Excuuuuuuse me young lady, you will NOT speak to me like that"??
What does DH say about her attitude?
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“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”
Middlemom - My husband backs
Middlemom - My husband backs me up about 70 percent of the time. The rest of the time, if he is not in the room, when she is behaving badly, he thinks I am over reacting. And that 30 percent is all that my SD9 needs. If she thinks she can get away with it (even with my punishing her - early bed, chores or time outs) she still feels like she can get away with it. It's really stressful that my husband doesn't take it seriously all the time. And that is because my SD9 treats him with so much love and respect, that he only thinks about the bad behavior when he sees it right in his face. Other wise he tells me that its no big deal and to be an adult about it. That's the worst!
O my hell that's how I feel
O my hell that's how I feel with my two sd . One min they can be nice as hell and the next it is like satan is in them both. Most days I just want to walk out the door and never look back. But I love my husband to much to do that to him.
I completely understand how
I completely understand how you feel! I would leave in a heartbeat if it where not for my oldest SD11. It would crush her if I left. So its like I have to stay in this hell of not knowing day to day if I am going to be targeted by my youngest SD, to be treated like crap.
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my SD is the same... she
my SD is the same... she fakes nice when she feels like it, but ost of the time she is a nasty vinidctive snot.. she has hit me with refrigerator door and said, move, i am saving my pop, as she sits an almost empty can in the fridge, she has blocked my steps by sitting at top so we nearly fall over her to get up or down steps, and when we say you need to move or excuse me, she draws her knees up as if to make us step up higher.. It would be the best day of my life if she decided to never come visit.. I wish DH would take her to eat and take her home... thats what she wants anyways... money spent on her and his attention without having to come to our home and actually co exist with the family..
I am sorry to hear this
I am sorry to hear this Stepof... She sounds like an angry kid. I hop someone has suggested Therapy for her. Are you standing up to her so that she knows you wont stand for this? If she thinks she can get away with it, she will do it.
Well at lest she goes home.
Well at lest she goes home. Mine stay with us all the time 24/7 there mom has nothing to do with them. Sometimes I wish there mother had them . How is it having a baby with your hubby and having the SD around?? Is she nice to the baby? See I want so bad to have a baby with my hubby but I don't know it would make things with the SD ers .
Hi Mom of two - My husband
Hi Mom of two - My husband and I have always raised my two SD's 24/7. I am a full time mom to them. The birth mom does not take care of them at all. She only visits with them 2 to 3 times a year for a weekend visit.
So I do all the work, all the time - 24/7 I am the full time mom.
That is why its so ridiculous that my youngest SD is acting this way. I am the one that raised her.
Hi the real mom. Yeah I've
Hi the real mom. Yeah I've had the girls for 3 years. And there mom has nothing to do with them. And right now its my sd7 who is driving me crazy kinda like your little one my sd8 just likes to cry all the time lol and it drives me crazy. Do you and your hubby have kids together ????
That is depressing - I hope
That is depressing - I hope that it is not true in all cases. Actually I am positive it wont happen with my oldest daughter. We have a great bond, and she has an amazing spirit. I don't ever see her not staying connected with me. The youngest may not be interested in staying in contact with me afters she's and adult. But at least my oldest will.
Thank your you comment.
To me that is even more of a
To me that is even more of a reason to not define yourself in terms of your role as stepparent, and depend on that relationship - be sure to keep your own identity, friends, family, etc.
Don't give 200% to skids and leave no energy left for yourself and your own identity IMO!
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"The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself." -
Will Rogers
This is so true!!! I need to
This is so true!!! I need to get a life outside of my home. Majorly good advice. Thank you everyone.