SS is 17 and is turning 18 in February. He hasnt been attending regular school since he was 12. He chooses when he wants to go. In the mornings, he takes 2.5-3hrs to get ready: eat, take a shower, majority of that is on the phone, lying down, putting his head in his lap etc...he rarely makes it to the bus and has his dad drive him in if hes running late which happens to be around 1030.

SS was did another 1 week stint of not going to school since september totalling of almost 4 weeks of missing school, last week. He is 2 years behind. BM kicked SS out for "terrorizing" his sister- they got into a fight and he punched a hole in the wall, lit the corner of her mattress on fire etc...police were called no police report filed- i made SO check into this. I did the stupid mistake of having SS move in by asking my parents. He contributes nothing to the household, he doesnt put his dishes away, leaves half empty water bottles and popcans out, doest fold his laundry or put it away...But yet, on the weekends he can go to the city get up really early to go visit his GF but most importantly he doesnt go to school and just lays in bed, goes on his laptop etc.

BM is a whack job so to a very little extent i feel empathy. His kids in the past were douchebags to me and my DD9(not SOs) who was 4. SS would tell her to "shut up", "how come DD9 got to go to quebec?" etc...taking a shit in the washroom as a form of punishment to DH without flushing etc...SO even knew his son would order things and ask for things that would deliberately cost a lot of money as a form of punishment...All of this happening 3 years ago no less.

I have no ALONE time with DH, as they live in my parents loft apartment and share the space. SS is on the phone with BM daily(when they would visit us they would lock themselves in a room for 3 hrs- not kidding just talking to her), who refuses to take him back but yet is still collecting CS for SS as if hes living with her. He even had the audacity to say, "BM cant afford CS"-hmm but we can...I dont care about the money, to a certain extent maybe i would...i just want my life back. He is just lazy. MY SO continues to baby him emotionally letting him get away with not going to school. I said a lot of harsh things about his son and i realize i shouldnt have said it, but it was mean and it was viscious and i am unhappy. I told SO and perhaps this is wrong of me, I cant handle this long term.

SOs kids are apparently ruined emotionally as SO left BM 18 years ago when she was pregnant with SS(actually BM left first) he ended it when she came back asking for a reconcilliation. And SO never paid CS- even though for under 2 years he gave her $40,000 and thats why they are f##k ups...all because of SO. I have zero empathy for them i am apathetic and generally dont care at this point where SS ends up and i realize this is horrible and irresponsible of me. A lot more things in life can happen that are A LOT worse than your parents divorcing. And use this as an exscuse for poor behaviour and lack of ambitionn. I am afraid we will be stuck with him forever SS didnt even aknowledge my birthday even though he was in the car when we bought take out i had wanted. When SO was away on another work trip back in october, SS told me, "You know what broken I couldnt stand to date a girl like you"- this comment came after I asked him if SO should come home early or not. Thats not why, i want him back but those further demonstrate he doesnt respect me. Even his Grandmother DHs mom, told me, DH doesnt see things for what they are, he may need to go to a shelter to smarten up, etc- were in trouble in the long run.

Currently, I am locked up in a hotel room, sick in iowa- were from canada as this is the only alone time me and SO have, is when he goes away on work trips. Just hearing SS voice on the phone complaining there was no food in the house, we give him $40/week for lunch bought tons of tuna and my dad says there are groceries int he house...has sent my spirits into hostility. BM refused to take SS because SO had to go away to the US, he is filing child abandoment charges on her on his return, she even said "Oh Broken is going with you, I see SS is shafted again"- ummm hes not my responsibility and why is it that my parents not your rich mom and dad, are housing him temporarily...