Summer and what is coming!!
Summer is almost here. DH still is going to interviews and the skids will be with us for the month of June. So DH informed me that his brother and his wife are coming to visit in October with MIL. This is the same brother that still talks to BM and one skid. I only know this because SS has the biggest mouth in the world and likes to hear his own voice. He has told me that his Uncle texts him and BM and that BM talks to his uncle on the phone. DH's brother also called the police and told them that DH was abusing his skids.
I wonder who convinced him to do that and make him believe it?! Any way, I told DH that it was up to him whether or not he wanted to forgive his brother and have him stay in our house however, I will not be entertaining any of them.
Last time when MIL came to visit we got into it. It was me telling her to back off. She doesn't know what the word no means. DH has told her that he doesn't want anything to do with his brother or his wife so why keep pushing it? I get it MIL wants to be one big happy family but as long as they continue to be in cahoots with BM I will not be part of their lives. I also do not trust them.
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Why?
Why would your DH want his brother to come stay with him? He has already shown who he's loyal to
I asked him the same question
I asked him the same question and he said that he would be doing it for MIL.
I can imagine how difficult
I can imagine how difficult this must be, being that its your H's mother. Can they stay at a hotel? Why stay at your house? Ugh...I don't understand why some people like to place themselves in situations (like your house) knowing the conflict that they cause. I'd definitely keep my distance from them and not engage in any way.
But also one is your partner,
But also one is your partner, other half, you live with her (normally). While the other one released you into adulthood to make your own choices...
I think Wife outranks Mom. There are a few times MIL has tried to outrank me. And everytime it's been completely innapropriate.
Mother should be the number one woman in your life, UNTIL you're married. then it's your spouse. And if your mom is disrespecting your spouse, then you should be standing up for your spouse. Once you choose your person, it's your job to watch their six, doesn't matter who's trying to attack. DH and I have butted heads a few times on this. But we're we're both standing up for eachother, regardless of who against, it helps keep us more connected and happier as a whole. That's part of being a partnership.
I hope he sticks up for you. Maybe discuss your fears before they come? I don't think you should be made to feel uncomfortable or watched in your own home. They can easily stay at a hotel instead, just in case things go sour.
I think you stand up for and
I think you stand up for and behind the person who is making sense and not causing drama. I don’t think you automatically back your spouse up. Sometimes they make stupid, no spine, drama inducing decisions and just expect to be supported.
If MIL is butting in and trying to make rules at your house, then you shut that down and confront her as a joint force with your spouse.
If your spouse is laying down the law and making crazy demands, then you talk to them and let them know it’s your home too and they don’t get to make all the rules.
I don’t think one outranks or out weighs the other. You have to live in a house where there is peace and not constant conflict.
BM is very much a with me or against me person. She used to get very angry with DH for not backing her up or being on her side. Well, the fact was she was wrong (in some cases very wrong) and DH wasn’t going to support her just because she was his wife.
I don't think asking for them
I don't think asking for them to stay in a hotel in this case is the wrong choice though. If anything it could prevent drama if you need to ask them to leave and provide Tank with comfort in her own home. Because with the BIl canoodling with BM, I'd be worried he's going to try and snoop. That's not something she should have to be worried about.
Oh, I agree in this situation
Oh, I agree in this situation.
I just meant that your spouse isn’t Always right. To say that you should always take your spouses side is just as spineless as always taking the skids side.
You don’t need to disagree in front of others and you should look like a united front. You should discuss things beforehand and if you’re not on the same page you come to a decision.
But you don’t have to automatically agree with your spouse just because you’re married.
BIL would not be allowed in
BIL would not be allowed in my house. No way.