We ran into the same issue and were forced to pay.  Your DH can file for contempt, but she's unlikely to be convicted since she has a dentist's recommendation.

Unfortunately, this happens alot.

So does the kid need braces or not?  I mean you should be able to tell by looking at them if there is a "need"

The proper thing to do would be to inform the other parent prior to making such a decision, but your BM is far from proper.  Your DH can file contempt, but what will that do?  The kid will still need braces and DH will still have to pay.  She's got him by the balls.

If a licensed doctor says that treatment is necessary, which nearly any dentist/orthodontist will for braces, a judge will not side with a parent saying that treatment isn't required.

Also, you can't necessarily see when a kid needs braces.

If a child has crooked teeth, even if braces is only cosmetic, the child should have braces.  It is huge for self-esteem.  Why would you want to deny your skid braces?  $5,500 is pretty reasonable for where I live.  Split in half, that is $2,600.  Does either party carry orthodontia insurance?  I have insurance for 60% of the cost up to $3,000.  So when my stepson wanted braces, at $6,400, we only had to pay $3,400 over the course of 2 years.  It was like $80/month.

Unless they are underage and might require a 2nd round?  Pay for it.  Friggin cheap as* es that refuse to pay like my exh- I didn't worry about it paid for myself, hold insurance myself.....received $500 in CS for 8-9 years then $600 a month. Two growing boys- not ONE review for increase and he's not paid a DIME towards their dental or medical health he's supposed to.  I'm sorry NCP that want to skate on this issue piss*s me off.  Why SHOULD it be all on the CP to pay for braces? 

Your DH should go directly to the dentist himself and have them calculate the cost.

BM told DH he’d owe twice as much as he actually did. She also told him that insurance wouldn’t cover any of it, which he knew wasn’t true because it was his insurance and he knew they covered $2500 for braces. I’m sure she was hoping for a big payday. She never thought DH would get his butt over to the dentist, find out how much his insurance would cover, and have his proportion calculated out. He then trotted down himself and paid, so he didn’t even have to talk to BM at all. 

If BM won't take SS for additional consults, then your DH can. He can go get three quotes so he gets an idea of how much it will cost. Then, he can either make the choice to present those options to BM or decide that the price difference isn't much ans agree to pay.

Once he has the consults and figures/plan on paper, if BM just runs out to get braces without looking at those figures AND they are significantly more expensive than what your DH found, your DH can present his findings to a judge and hopefully only ne ordered to pay for half of what it would have cost elsewhere. However, I would only pursue this route IF BM says braces are needed when they aren't or BM says you owe $5,000 for some Cadillac package when your SS only needs the basics where your DH should only pay $2,500.

My honest guess is that SS probably needs braces, and BM's quote is going to be comparable within $500 of what your DH would find elsewhere. You may be working yourself into a tizzy for nothing.

DH should ask to talk w/the dentist. There are options and DH can choose what he would be willing to pay for .  ds19 had to have braces when he was 15 because one of his adult teeth was sitting horizontal. We could have had all the extra fun stuff but declined and got just basic braces.  If the kid is lax about dental care I would strongly suggest a wire retainer instead of the one you're supposed to wear every night.  DS kept losing part or all of his retainer and it was $125 a pop to replace it.  Teeth keep shifting, expecially after braces are taken off.  

It's a one time cost, just bite the bullet and have it done. It's probably cheaper than going to court and fighting about it.  

It may turn out to be a mute point if his hygiene is that bad. An ortho won't put braces on a kid if they show they don't take care of their teeth. (A good one anyway). 

Reason being - the tarter under the braces will cause staining that is permanent. Even whitening won't work. 

On the other hand - we dealt with this from HCBM - SO went directly to the ortho and paid his portion only to them. What happened? There were times he took skid and a balance was due from HCBM! Nope he told them they could refuse treatment but he wasn't paying it. So be prepared. 

Now it is in their CO for future that SO is only responsible for a percentage of braces. Funny thing - NOW HCBM suddenly doesn't feel younger skid NEEDS braces any longer after having to pay for older skids balance! 

We had a very similar experience, except there was no orthodontic insurance in our case. We had heard from youngest SS for a couple years that he was getting braces but BM hadn't mentioned it. Then out of the blue, BM informed DH that OLDEST SS needed braces and she needed A COUPLE THOUSAND DOLLARS by the end of the week for DH's half and that she'd set up a payment plan for the next 2 years for the rest. DH's CO said NOTHING about orthontics, but he didn't want to look like an ass and refuse to pay half. I was LIVID because of the lack of notice or input. Yes, we would have liked to have gotten a second opinion and other estimates. I had just recently gotten braces myself after 4 oral surgeries and more expected if bite didn't get straightened, and I had the typically more expensive clear upper braces because I'm an attorney and do a lot of speaking, yet SS's braces cost a couple thousand dollars more than mine. (I paid for mine with money from my dad's estate after he passed away, btw.)  (And I did not think oldest SS needed them. His teeth looked about like my DS16 now, who has not had them recommended and isn't lucky enough to have someone to force us to get them.) 

THEN, one year later, BM did the same thing and said YOUNGEST SS now needed them and another couple THOUSAND dollars was due within days, with another 2-year payment obligation. So for a year, we were making payments on TWO boys in braces, plus paying BM $1200/mo CS, plus all SSs' health insurance plus 60% what health insurance does not cover. Had we had ANY say, we at least would have tried to space them out so we weren't paying for both at once unless the orthodontist said it was absolutely necessary, and clearly, it wasn't. Obviously, BM had no problem paying her monthly payment on them, since we paid her more than enough to cover that and a whole lot more!   It makes my blood boil thinking back on it. Oh, and the kicker is that neither SS would wear their retainer and both their teeth now look like they did before braces.

All I can say is, now that CS has been over for several years and DH and I get to keep all of our money except what we choose to give to SSs, it makes me SO happy to think that BM can NEVER control us or our money again! I'm sure her credit cards are maxed out as they were when she was married to DH, while ours have a $0 balance! My 30's and early 40's were ruined by that toxic, money-grubbing b*tch. I may be in my late 40's and my youth gone, but being rid of her and finally enjoying life with DH, about to celebrate 20 years of marriage and happier and more financially secure than ever, makes all the drama and misery almost worth it. So just hang in there, as this, too, shall pass.

I dont think your dh needs a say in braces. The man is so neglectful he doesnt care if his kids teeth rot out of their heads. What kind of parent doesnt make their kid brush their teeth? Thats just insane and gross. How can you find that man attractive is beyond me. It sounds like bm is the responsible parent here to be honest. Your dh is a weekend disney dad who lies to his wife to make his life easier and doesnt care about his kids health.