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Re-Channeling my Anger into Something Positive

Sweetie's picture

Sometimes I think that it's really hard for women to get men to understand that they are from a completely different planet. My husband took a situation in which I was having a bad day and for some reason could not figure out how to step in as a friend would normally do, and ask, what do you need me to do for you? For the life of me, I just can't understand, how he can't figure it out. So, I do find it very challenging not to completely lose my temper with him because I have been at home with 3 dogs and painted part of a fence and then come back into the house. Two of the dogs--the puppy with the broken leg and my fifteen year old miniature poodle were crated. Well, the poodle made a mess literally in his crate. It was totally awful to clean up. All I could hear in my head was this voice whining in my husband's tone complaining about the dog's again, and again. So, it was about 4 p.m. and I knew he would only be about halfway home so I told him to stop for gas, and he said he didn't need to get it for a couple of days. I told him what had happened, and he said he was like 5 minutes from home. Well, I was cleaning up, and talking to the dogs and myself, and it seemed to be a really long time and I couldn't understand what had happened to him. So, instead of coming into the house to change his clothes to help me, he is screwing around with a trash bag and I am just further frustrated. It is just a situation that just seemed to keep getting worse because I can't seem to make him understand how to pitch in and help. I just don't know where I am going wrong and feel like I am ready to start shrieking. I got the mess cleaned up without much help, and had to wash the dog outside, then clean up the paintbrush, take the dogs back out for the bathroom, feed the dogs, water the dogs, do more dirty laundry, prepare dinner and wash dishes, do more dirty laundry, set the dog crates up with clean linens, and make lunch food for my husband's lunch tomorrow. Now, I don't work, so my services are always unpaid. I was wondering if anyone had a day like this one recently and felt misunderstood? The problems with my 15 year old dog making the messes is getting more frequent and I am getting to be about at my wit's end. I don't know if he is just losing complete control of his bowels, but I can't keep living with this. It's a hard fact to accept that I may be at the point that I will have to put him down. I don't think that there's going to be any other alternative but I will talk to my vet in the next week or so. This is a pattern with him that is becoming more frequent and I can't have this continue to happen. We started crating him to eliminate the problem, but not he is making a mess both inside and outside of the crate. So, today, my day was over the top.

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Dawn-Moderator's picture

I feel like I have to do so much work around the house too. During the day I do laundry, cleaning, errands, take care of the pets. Then I do the bus stop pickup. I get stepson started on his homework. I cook dinner. I clean up after dinner. Then I have to run stepson to one of his activities. My husband works during the day and goes to school at night. So I feel taken for granted a lot of the time. Then I get grief for not paying enough attention to my husband. Well, I am so tired by the evening that I just want to relax.

I understand totally about your 15 yr old dog. When I was still at home, we had a toy poodle. She had to be put down when she was 17 yrs old. She was blind, deaf and made messes as well. It is such a sad, sad decision to make. I still get sad to this day when I think about it. I guess if they get to a point where they are suffering and there is no hope for improvement, you have to do it.

That is the one down side to having pets. You lose them. I don't even want to think about having to make that decision with my girls but I know one day I will have to.

Hang in there.

Dawn