Update to last night
Well he is definitely minding his P's and Q's. He did take BS to watch SS15 play ball and BM1 said he was keeping a close eye on the clock. He knows. BS had a nice time and does want the EO Thursday. I will not do the rotating Mon/Thursday that he wants...not happening as it is disruptive and I hated it with my skids. Plus he is playing his A game, but that won't last and then taking it away will be a bigger fight.
Before he went and this morning BS said to me, mom I hate that dad is so mean to you. You gave him all that stuff when he moved ( i gave him my son's bed room furniture a bed for my ss15 that he had repeated refused my offer of and a bunch of other things and had them waiting in the garage) and he never said thank you and you were good to him when you were married. It makes me sad he can't be nice to you.
Also, I live in a town home and at this moment still can't park in the garage because I have some things that I am waiting for my parents to take so I park in my driveway. When someone else comes I park in the lot so they can be in the driveway. I had run an errand and was parked across from my drive way when they came back. He was nasty and made the comment to BS, And your mother isn't even here ( because he had a time he had to bring BS back). BS knows I do the parking thing and says, dad her car is right there. He let him off at the driveway.
Like I said I will do the EOW for the summer but no more, trust me he will badger the hell out of me to get what he wants but this is it. I know him and his patterns of 20 years between BM 1 and I. He will never sustain it and then taking it back is a battle.
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I am just throwing this out
I am just throwing this out there...your DS is seeing WAY too much of the issues between you and EX and it feels like he is getting involved in those issues. SS went through this with his parent when he was 9-12ish. He actually ended up getting stomach issues due to the stress of keeping his BM happy and his Dad happy at the same time. Often that meant that he felt the need to condemn the other parent to each other. It was sick and twisted.
Like, how on earth does he know that your EX did not thank you for something? He is either overhearing your conversations or you told him that. And why would your DS come in to tell you that the EX sounded nasty when EX thought you were not home because he did not see your car. Of course he was probably perturbed by thinking you were not there. See what I mean?
What did you say to DS when he told you what his dad said?
I may be way off base, I am just seeing issues down the road if your DS keeps being put in the middle. Or feels like he NEEDS to be in the middle.
Please don't be offended. Just trying to help. BTDT.
Not offended at least. He was
Not offended at least. He was standing there when his dad came over to pick up the stuff or should I say stand there till my step sons got there to do it. Ex insisted that it was his time with BS and because my parnts were in the house made BS come outside and stand in the cold. He was not interacting with BS or keeping an eye on him it was just to punish my parents for being there. He watch the interaction between me and my ex and knew there was no thank you. He has been raised to be polite.
I will not defend my ex but I do not bash him. My son has seen this man yell at me ( last weekend) and pin me up against a wall and scream in my face. His dad tells him that I am crazy all the time ( BTW I am not and I have paper work that states he is mentally ill ).
I always tell him that his dad loves him and he doesn't have to tell me what he thinks I want to hear. He is afraid of his dad because of how he has seen his dad scream and yell at me and his brothers.
I will not lie for my ex and
I will not lie for my ex and paint him in a better light.
I do believe one night a week is okay if you are dealing with a sane person, I am not. I have watched him keep my step kids away from their mother just to have them be away from her and he didn't hate her with the intesnsity he does me. I have called him out on his BS and stood up to him and crossed him in a way no one ever has.
See the interesting perspective I have is I have seen first hand the crap he pulls against an ex... and he was mentally healthier then.
My BS has been in therapy
My BS has been in therapy with an awesome woman on and off since the divorce process started. After meeting with my ex and I where he tried to tell her infront of BS that I had him arrested and could not control himself and then refused to come back again to work with her and BS or with me. We had a parenting meeting scheduled and he refused to come and told me to just take care of things.
Anyways, between that interaction and several appointments with her and BS alone ( not me) she actually said that she didn't see where non court ordered ( weekly visitation is not in the decree) being beneficial for BS.
Over the last year this man has given up most of his holidays. The one he did do, my skids weren't there. He bought a prepaid turkey dinner for thanks giving, didn't shower all day and served it to BS in his underwear.
Sometimes he can step it up, most times you get this.
It's okay Ripley. I have said
It's okay Ripley.
I have said no for a year. He badgered me while he had BS and told him about it. The bad thing is as much as I know him ( my therapist says I have a PHD in him) he knows my weaknesses.
He is such a convincing liar that court scares me. BM`1, his own mom and my skids who are teens know that what I say is the truth, but they would never back me up in court because they are all afraid.
This mess cost me 11K when all was said and done for the divorce. For fathers day he wanted to take our child who is very pale tuning down a river that is popular for nudity and drinking. BS doesn't swim very well, is very pale and turns 8 next month. Oh and he refused to buy sunscreen I had to provide it. He makes probably 85K a year and works for a pharmacy division. They sell sunscreen.
Thank fully we had storms and he cancelled. Oh and I have to provide a life jacket... there is only so much prayer and xanax.