OH never gets home from work early, normally always around 6.30 to 7pm of a night...anyway, tonight, is sleepover night, and his hours are no different..he picks SD7 up on his way home from work.....

Now today is Halloween (UK), and my SIL is having a little party starting at 4pm for the kids....my BD7 is with my mom today whilst I work....anyway, I told SIL Id love to come but, I dont have SD7 til much later.....so wouldnt be going......well I felt bad for my BD7, its her aunt and cousins so why should she miss out on it, also, why should I miss seeing my family because of SD7!? Its not like she was going to be with us at that time anyway......so I changed my mind, and told SIL that I would be there.....OH was fine, never said anything, and the fact that SD7 wasnt going to be there, was something that simply couldnt be helped, OH wasnt overly keen on going anyway after a slight upset with my brother (nothing major, minor disagreement)....

So onto this afternoon....nobody round by us does the trick or treat thing anymore, and last year I paid out £50 to go to a local attraction for Halloween...well after his "habits" have come to light, and the debts that have come along with it, I havnt paid for anything, nor do I have any intention too...thats his sacrifice as its his fault money is f*cked up......so a happy chirpy phone call turned all sour and moody...."poor SD7 will be all dressed up with nowhere to go"...I told him I was thinking of doing a treasure hunt, in the dark...a spooky one at home as both girls love them....that didnt appease him.....so I stayed quiet, and he ended the call.....

So, now Im feeling guilty.......I always feel that I have to go out of my way or do extra for his kids than he does for mine....so I text and asked if BM would drop SD7 off to me....he called me and flat point said no....plus he wouldnt allow her given her behaviour lately, and should anything be said untoward to me...well you get the drift....so I asked if SS19 could collect SD7, and drop her back to me...that way I can take her with me.....and quick as a flash its organised....

Thing is I didnt want to do this....I did want this to be about me and my BD7 having some time together with my mom, who I hardly see due to work commitments....plus, I seriously do not have the energy to take care of SD7 as well as my BD7...but I know my family will help....I always feel that I have t involve SD7 on EVERYTHING...and that if I dont im wrong......even though I dont have too...I juts dont know how to be selfish sometimes!!

Does anyone else get this?