Talking with the MIL
So I can't stand my MIL. A couple weeks ago I had a long talk with DH about the way she treats me and told him I'm done with it. He preceded to flip out on her. MIL and myself really haven't talked much since. Its been nice. However, last night she asked to talk about everything. She preceded to tell me that she had begun to resent me basically because DH told her that if he had to choose he would choose me over her. That he refused to loose me over her overprotective and controlling ass. That if it came to it he would cut her out. She said she was deeply hurt over the fact that DH would choose "some other women" over his own mother. Somewhat understandable but so what hes a grown man and we are happily together. DH's mother was extremely abusive while they were growing up and when he was 11 MIL lost custody to FIL. After lots of counseling and classes DH has came a long way. MIL should be happy he even talks to her. Anyways, I told her I was sick of her "over-riding me" when it comes to SDs. It's my house if I tell them something it goes. She then told me, "who the hell am I to tell SDs what to do or to make decisions for them." Excuse me?! #1 not her f*cking place to worry about, DH backs me completely about about anything to do with kids. #2 Biologically mine or not, I AM primary caregiver to these girls. This is my f*cking house and I make the damn rules. I kind of lost it. I said you expect me to be "mom", therefore I am. And pointed out the fact that if she only thought I should be their servant, to cook and clean up after and not enforce rules then she could take them while DH was working. If I have to play "mom" I'm playing all of it. I demand to be respected and rules will be followed. I am nobody's Bitch. I guess what really pisses me off is that me and DH agree on how our house is run. We talk about everything when it comes to kids, biologically mine or not, we both discuss any decisions made about them. So, who the f*ck is she to tell me how to run my house?!
ok .. just kind of felt proud of myself for attempting to put MIL in her place and wanted to get it out.
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i had to tell those same
i had to tell those same things to sd herself! she would bitch to me "i need a dad AND a mom!" well, she already has a mom, so i have no idea why she tried to put that on me. :? i told her i was not going to be half a mom to her, be there to love and adore her, do things for her, spend my money on her, but never discipline her, dole out a punishment when necessary, or tell her no. i told her that's not how it works. didn't take long for her to decide she didn't want me for a mom anymore!
You go girl! I have been
You go girl! I have been having FMIL trouble myself lately and I have discovered it feels great to put her in her place. I see no reason to start the drama, but if they bring it, I say shut'em down!
Wow! Stressed-Mom, good for
Wow! Stressed-Mom, good for you! That's one thing I will never understand is why we as SM's are expected to wait on the kid hand and foot, look after all their needs and solve all their problems but when it comes to discipline or rules, just step back and let the little demons terrorize us? I've never done a half ass job of anything, it's either all the way or no way, take your pick. Well done on setting your MIL straight!
Thanks!!! I usually tend to
Thanks!!! I usually tend to keep a lot to myself (and just come her to unleash it all) but every now and then I just completely blow. This was one of these moments. I did tell her that if she couldn't respect me as a parent that she would not be allowed in my home. I also informed her that she could have the kids until DH got home. It would be much easier on me to come home after work and take a nap, maybe watch some tv. I mean, "Who the f*ck am I" to be taking care of them anyways?! }:) Of course she would never actually help take care of them.. #1 "That's my job" #2 "She has a life."