Full blown tantrum over a cube of squash!
As it was a cold & miserable day yesterday, OH & I decided to go for a full blown roast dinner as SS10 was with us. We went for chicken as it's SS10's favourite & didn't make him have any leeks or parsnips as he doesn't like them. However, we'd roasted some butternut squash with the other veggies & SS10 had agreed to try a bit as he'd never had it before.
So, one small piece goes on his plate & we're pretty sure he'd love it as it's such a sweet taste. We held off dividing up the rest between us so he could have some more if he wanted. SS10 refuses to try it, eating everything else on his plate first & just poking at the squash so it becomes all mushy.
OH gives him 10 seconds to eat it at which point he runs off needing the loo (hmm) which takes him far longer than normal. When he comes back he's sitting at the table crying, partly because we've said he can't have a second helping of meat until he's eaten it. He eventually eats a tiny piece with a load of carrots & goes overboard with 'it's horrible, I don't like it' pulling faces etc. However, he couldn't say at all what it tasted like (because it was overpowered by carrots) and wouldn't finish the rest of it.
At that point I'd had enough & just swept the plates up saying I wasn't happy with this behaviour at the dinner table.
Cue - crying, screaming 'I want to go home' and storming off to his room. OH & I just closed the living room door and left him to it.
He's ten years old - am I alone in thinking he should have a bit more self control by now? Are we being unreasonable expecting him to at least try new foods? Any tips on dealing with tantrums in kids this age?
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Oh Katrinkie, your weekend
Oh Katrinkie, your weekend sounds absolutely horrid. I have started a couple of days before SS visits sitting my OH down and saying, right, what are we eating this weekend? That way it gets planned out, taking into account SS's tastes & preferences, but the decision has been made before he turns up.
Sending you a huge e-(((HUG)))
We deal with this crap ALL
We deal with this crap ALL the time from SS9 who will be 10 soon. I did the same thing last time after listening to FH ask him nicely more than once to either eat or go straight to bed. We got the "but I don't like it". We gave him a choice, eat or go to bed, whether he liked it or not was not the question. When he wouldn't play ball I simply took his plate and ours. The crying and full blown tantrum ensued. Much later, he came out and apologized for the way he acted. He too refuses to try anything new and even disliked HOME MADE BREAD. Sometimes, I think he is difficult just because it's a way of exercising some control.
You could be right about the
You could be right about the control thing - it translates into insisting on the same few meals on a rotation basis and does mean we have to change our normal eating habits. This is also the boy that won't try even a very mild curry, but will eat some of his dad's chilli cheese naan bread - go figure!
The tantrums are normal. We
The tantrums are normal. We can't really expect complete self-control from a child whose frontal lobe (governing temper and self-control) isn't fully developed until about 25 years of age. You handled it beautifully. Let him rage (in his room) and learn to soothe himself. Then he can make amends later on with apologies for his behaviour.
We can't pick fights around food in our home, due to the eating disorder issues. But you're entirely within your rights to expect a kid to try ONE CUBE of squash. Stick to your guns.
That's really interesting,
That's really interesting, thanks - I had no idea about frontal lobes taking that long to fully mature. As for making amends later - there was no apology from him for his behaviour at all!
We did discuss getting him to try any new thing in the kitchen before we even serve dinner up in the future, to at least avoid the scene at the table (and if he refuses then he doesn't get to sit at the table with us, nor get dessert)
SD10 is a little snot when
SD10 is a little snot when it comes to food and has been for the last two years. Her younger siblings love pretty everything and they are all three very good eaters.
SD10 had to be told that there will be absolutely NO, "ew, yuk, gross or I don't like it" at the table, EVER! How she reacts affect how the younger two react. Usually with SS6 saying he doesn't like it either and SD8 loving it out of spite, LOL!
But I have still had to come down on her about her manners with the faces and all the BS she spews when introduced with a food she doesn't want.
SD8 is an angel about foods she doesn't like and I often tell SD10 she should model her younger sister's behavior in that regard. If offered a food she doesn't particularly care for or want at that time SD8 simply says very sweetly, "No, thank you." Wow, what a friggin' concept!! It doesn't take a face like someone is killing you to get the point across. I hate the rudeness of all the "ew" and such. It's so disrespectful when either I or their father has gone to the trouble of preparing a meal for the family. Scheesh!
And they still have to eat vegetables, so I'm not sure why all the fuss with SD10. It serves no purpose except to piss me off and want to slap the "yuk" face right off of her.