welcome to my world! the BM in my life actually got mad at us because DH wouldn't pay to get her car fixed. It's not our responsibility to get her car fixed or pay for her gas/insurance. But she EXPECTS IT!!!! good grief! I could go on and on.

I personally think that there are some women who really don't want to work or support themselves. They find a man, get married and pregnant, get divorced and live the high life. Now in my case, I had my first son at age 37, so I've had the opportunity to see both sides of life - both being single and independent and being married and pretty much dependent. However if DH and I ever did split, I would never expect him to 'support' me or our kids financially on his own. The way I see it, we both made them and we would both support them in every way. DH's ex sat on her butt for more than half of their marriage and when they divorced, she kept everything that was left AND got CS. DH also paid for both of the skids' cars AND put them both thru college. BM did (and still does) nothing. I truly believe that the court system is much more supportive of BMs rather than what is fair - which is for BOTH parents to provide for their kids. It's just not right.

I have given birth... twice. I am no longer with their dad. I have never asked him for one dime. We have 50/50. He makes a significant amount more than I do anually... and DH and I are both in the mortgage industry. Needless to say, for the past 2 years, some extra cash would not only be NICE, but is MUCH needed. I am yet to ask EX for help. I don't want his help. He has the kids half of the time. He pays for their well being while they are over there, and DH and I do while they are with us. So.... unless I was absent that day, there were no classes given upon delivery to teach us entitlement... HOWEVER~ I do know what you are saying. My point is, there ARE normal BM's out there. Don't label me entitled. The only thing I am entitled to is getting my a$$ up every morning and going to work.

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ ; )

In my case, BM had a "lifestyle" of being a SAHM. Now, I put lifestyle in quotations b/c I believe a SAMH is a privilege; not a lifestyle nor a requirement. I consider a lifestyle somebody who is accustomed to a certain way of living (either poverty, average or an above average way of life). Being a SAHM is IMO a benefit of a marriage. Once the marriage is over, the benefit ends, unless there is a special needs child etc. DH felt that her "lifestyle" should continue and now she acts even more entitled than before. Now, I was a SAHM briefly after the birth of my first daughter and I can understand that it gets lonely after a while being home with kids and you need a break. However, all but 1 of the kids are in fulltime school and SS5 is the youngest and he goes to a "nursery school" 3x's per week, 3 hrs each time. She has a lot of free or "me" time but still gets an attitude if DH is working out of town and can't see the kids on his Tuesday visitation. She feels (IMO) that she is entitled to have DH's endless support just because she planned a future with him which included her not working until all the kids were out of school. She feels that b/c she is a SAHM it's still DH's job to relieve her of those duties (to her it's not a visitation, it's her free babysitting)...

I still wonder what I've gotten myself into!!

"I aint no Carol Brady"

It really is disgusting, isn't it?.....it seems like there is this culture of women out there who use their children as power....now from what I have seen personally, and I do NOT mean this refers to all BM's cuz I have seen some really awesome BM's....and u know who u are.... :)......but the majority of the ones who seem to cause the most trouble and have the greatest sense of entitlement are the ones with extremely low self esteem, who probably could not keep a man in her life any other way than to hold his children over him. How many of our own DH's with this type of BM stayed in the relationship waaaay longer than he should of "because of his kids".....how many of us have heard, "I let her have her way so I can see my kids".....Men are raised to be the breadwinners (well, most anyway...LOL) so a manipulative BM can use this to her advantage to hold her hand out...."well I have YUR kids....u have to take care of US"...ummmm...WRONG!!...LOL...I forget who it was on here....maybe crayon?...help me remember...LOL....the old "golden uterus" syndrome....but these men fall for it....its not until a strong, confident, secure woman comes into his life that he sees how it really should be....two people working TOGETHER to raise their children....it never ceases to amaze me, this type of BM....any animal can give birth to offspring....its what u do with them AFTER they are born that makes u a good Mom.......and I really don't think holding them for ransom for money from their father is being a good Mom....JMO, of course....now this does not apply to the deadbeat Dad....he's just as bad, but I think many of us can attest that this happens to good Dads too....

A mother is not defined by the "b" or the "s" in front of her name, she is defined by how she handles the "mother" part.....