Watched part of the movie "Stepmom" the other night...
The movie Stepmom was on TV the other night and of course I couldn't help but turn it on. It came out in 1998 and has Julia Roberts and Susan Sarandon as the main actresses. I saw the film when it first came out, but it definitely struck a chord with me even more now that I'm a stepmom.
The part that got me fired up was when Julia Roberts (stepmom) asks BM (Sarandon) to take the stepdaughter (must be like 12?) out to a concert on a Thursday night. BM throws a huge fit saying it is a ridiculous idea because it's a school night and completely cuts her down for even thinking the thought.
A few days later, stepmom is driving skids to BM's house, they all walk in together. The BM shows her daughter a 'surprise' -- tickets to the concert. The daughter says, "Isn't my mom AWESOME!?" and dances out of the room. Stepmom is devastated, BM says to her, "Thank you for the great idea."
It made me so pissed because the skids BM does this to us ALL THE TIME! A few times when there have been events going on in town and we tell the kids we are planning to do it that upcoming weekend, BM will take them the night before, then play dumb. Or we've asked her a few times to take the kids to something for a few hours on her weekend (because my fiance's grandparents are in town) and she will take them instead so they don't get to go with grandparents. Happens with movies, shows, etc. It's not an accident, or coincidence. DF took a different approach and started to call her during the week to say "Hey, we're planning to take the kids to Toy Story 3 this weekend with some other people and their kids, so it'd be nice if they wouldn't see the movie beforehand." She STILL took them the night before. So the rest of the parents/kids in our planned group went and we had to think of something new to do with the kids, and the kids were mad because they wanted to go to a movie with their 'friends' and even asked why BM took them to the movie if she knew they were supposed to see it the next day with their friends!
Of course the kids wouldn't mind seeing a movie AGAIN but it's just a bit ridiculous to go two days in a row and spend all that money for the kids to see the same movie. GRR!
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Comments
Pure mean-spirited bitchy
Pure mean-spirited bitchy competition. How petty she is. I wouldn't say anything to them or BM about plans. Surprise them! Wait til they get a little older, they'll see through this.
New method is definitely the
New method is definitely the surprise attack!
Ours does this all the time.
Ours does this all the time. She has to take them to movies just to make sure DH doesn't do it. We have started to just take them to it again, if we want to see it. They get mad that they are seeing it twice. We tell them it was planned and not our fault that BM had taken them. Funnier thing was last year SDad told SS that he couldn't see a movie with his BF. He wanted to take him. Made him promise not to. When DH heard this he called BM and went off on her. She swears SS11 misunderstood his SDad. Yeah right!!!
I watch that movie anytime
I watch that movie anytime it's on. It was significant to me when BM told DH & skids she was terminal with cancer. Of course it was a lie, but we didn't know that at the time. I watched that movie over & over trying to figure out what I could do to help skids cope with the things they were struggling with & feeling thinking their mother was dying. I loved the relationship Roberts & Sarandon had at the end. I LOVED the quilt that Roberts put together for Sarandon with the pictures. I realize, now, how ridiculous it was to believe there could be such a relationship between a mom & stepmom. I guess it's true what they say about some things only happen in movies.
About 2 years ago BM had
About 2 years ago BM had called my DH in the beginning of December and asked if he could send a little extra money on top of the CS to help with extra food, christmas concert clothes and activities for the kids...DH sent some extra money.
What DH didn't know was she went to buy a gift ( some kind of Nintendo game system) that she knew DH had planned to buy..she took the extra money he gave her to go buy it and she never told him she bought it. So DH goes and buys this game system hiself. Come Christmas time we travelled 3 hours to go see Skids and spend Xmas with them. Of course BM had to have them Xmas morning.
When it was our turn to have Skids Xmas afternoon, DH was excited to see their faces when they opend up their big gift. They opend it up and said " oh dad, mom already got this for us". DH was devistated. So he took it back and got them something else. She knew he was going to buy it as they had talked a few weeks earlier as to who was getting the kids what and DH clearly said I will get them the game system. What a b*tch.
I almost forgot that this
I almost forgot that this situation happened to us last Christmas too. It wasn't as expensive of a gift but it was the same situation...BM knew/agreed we would get it, but she had them Xmas morning and gave it to them.
Yes, we never tell BM
Yes, we never tell BM anything. In fact, we don't even tell the skids what our plans are half the time if we think they'll spill the beans and give BM a chance to ruin it.
We went to like the best waterpark in the world for vacation this year. All the kids knew was that we were going to that town for a week. They had no idea what was in that town. They were just looking forward to a hotel with a pool. lol! We did a lot of other stuff for a couple of days we were there and then a couple of days before we went to the park we told the kids what our plans were. I busted out a brochure and map of it for them and in two days they looked that brochure to pieces they were so excited. It worked out wonderfully! BM had no chance to spoil it.
I thought about pulling a reverse one of these on BM. She had big plans to take skids and some of their friends to see a movie earlier this month. I only for a moment when I heard about it, considered taking them before she got a chance. I quickly squashed that idea as I have no desire to ruin her fun ideas with her kids.
Stepmom is an alright movie. I got it at a garage sale a couple of months ago and watched it for the first time. Total fantasy, but not too far out there.
I hate that movie with a
I hate that movie with a passion that is nearly unimaginable.
However, you could always use BM's that try to one-up you to your advantage. DH's ex-inlaws always bought SS's things or took him places right before DH would do it, so he turned it around and would casually mention looking at a neat 4-wheeler, go-kart, (big ticket items, you get the idea), for SS and voila, SS got them all without costing DH a penny.
Given my news earlier today-
Given my news earlier today- the bio-mom might have cancer, not saying I'm a fan of the movie. And it's not total fantasy, because there have been many times in 13 years, I have had a close relationship with the skids' mother. It was the right thing to do for them...
Anyway, my take on skids and movies? She doesn't pay a penny! If she wants to pay a small fortune to take them to a show let her. Years ago, I would tell her we were planning to see "such and such" knowing she would take them! I even have in my "ex-files" a reciept for over $50 when she took the kids to see Polar Express a few years ago... That was money I had for other things I wanted! LOL
When we took the skids to Disney World- we told her we were going as we were sitting in the airport, waiting to board our flight!
Hell! The crazy woman even ran off to get MARRIED just because she knew we were and she wanted to do it first!