Somewhat O/T: Need house and selling advice.

DH and BM (though never married) bought a house together. They only lived together for about 6 months in the house. I moved in 4 years ago. BM has refused to sign a quit claim - it's helping her credit, of course!

2 years ago we looked into refinancing for lower payments as well as to remove BM's name from the house. At that time, we were unable to refinance until we got a little more on top of some credit debt. Then a few months later, DH got a new job.

DH earns straight commission. He does have a "guarantee" of $1500/month if he literally doesn't sell anything...which after child support and taxes means we are guaranteed about $850 a month for his paycheck. He's been at this job now for a year. According to the bank, we cannot refinance because he will need to be at his job for at least two years, otherwise they don't count his commission as actual pay.

We hate this house. Besides dating and procreating with BM, it was the dumbest decision that DH made, buying this house with BM.

On top of our hatred for the house itself, our neighbors are absolutely awful, mean people. If our grass grows over 1.5 inches they are complaining. If our dog barks, they call the cops. If our driveway doesn't get shoveled during a long day of snow because we are at WORK, they complain. They complain that our apple tree (that was there when we moved in), drops a few apples in their yard each fall. God forbid the children play on the deck or we have our windows open and they can hear our TV. (Let me add here, that it's a twin home, our house is connected to theirs and our decks are about 5 feet from each other and they chain smoke all day and night on their deck.) The house is very small, with little storage space (plus we have 3 kids). We use our one-stall garage for storage and they comment on that all the time. They are awful people with nothing better to do than sit in their lawn chair smoking, drinking, and judging.

I feel like I'm ready for a panic attack when I arrive home at the end of the day. I realized this weekend I purposely leave our house to do errands so I don't have to BE there. Isn't that awful?

Does anyone have ANY advice? Are we stuck for another year? Are there other loan options for people in our situation who work on commission pay?

BM has actually asked us a few months ago if we'd be willing to let her take over the house (by take over, she did NOT mean refinancing, she meant that she'd move in and DH's name would still be on the house, basically doing what we're doing having her name on the house - DH at the time told her no, now I'm thinking GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!)

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An even dumber decision than

An even dumber decision than buying this house with BM would be for him to let her "take it over". Do not consider that for a second.

If it's that horrible to live there what about renting it out and you rent elsewhere until you can buy.

Sometimes we just can't do what we want. In my 40s I had to rent for 5 years until I could afford to buy in California.

Um, I have an addition

Um, I have an addition concern for you.

If she is on the deed and there is no divorce CO.... I'd be concerned that she has rights to 1/2 the equity in the house.

You might want to seek a RE attorney's advice.

Good luck,
Kate

Yes, we were concerned about

Yes, we were concerned about that as well, and have talked to several people about that. From what we learned, we can prove that the payments have been made by us for the past 4 years and that all of our improvements to the house have been made in that time. If she fought it and demanded a percent of the equity she wouldn't have a leg to stand on, according to our banking friend? I know that's not a lawyer but I do trust her as she used to be a realtor as well and is very knowledgable. I highly doubt BM would fight it though, she's too stupid. She did recently say that she wants her name off the house so her debt-income ratio isn't so high, so I think she's ready to get out from under it if she's not living there.

If neither party will sign a

If neither party will sign a quit claim, the house needs to be sold.
The market is better. Your husband and his ex should sell.
She is probably entitled to half the equity.

she meant that she'd move in

she meant that she'd move in and DH's name would still be on the house, basically doing what we're doing having her name on the house - DH at the time told her no, now I'm thinking GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!)
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This is not a good idea.

we can prove that the payments have been made by us for the past 4 years and that all of our improvements to the house have been made in that time
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

FYI - actually, if there is any equity built up over the last 4 years...BM is entitled to a portion if she so chooses. ALSO...god forbid that your DH die....but if he does...that house will go to BM. (at least in my state)

I will NEVER understand why people divorce and then keep property legally entangled. Bad, bad things can happen.

I know, I wish that DH would

I know, I wish that DH would have fixed this when she first moved out.

How much would it hurt your

How much would it hurt your credit to just light the house on fire? }:)

None, right?

LOL!!! Credit or freedom?

Signing a quit claim deed

Signing a quit claim deed will not do anything. The only way for BM's name to be removed from the house is for it to be refinanced under you and your DH's name. Trust me, I went through the same thing with my exH. Even if BM signed a quit claim deed, that would only mean she forfeits her right to later claim an interest in the property. It does not release her from owing on the mortgage.

But another option you have is to sell the house. BM would have to agree to doing this, though.

Since the home is in her

Since the home is in her name, she is entitled to half the equity if you sell it. You can go to a title company and

a) Sign the property over to her
b) Have her sign the property over to you

Then there will be only one "official" owner of the house though the loan will still be in both their names. At this point, if there is a sale, the proceeds will go to the "official" owner. Let's say that your DH signs it over to her but he wants to reserve a certain portion of his equity to be given to him should the property sell. During the sign-over process, a lien can also be filed, they can agree to it and when the property is sold, money will be given to the person holding the lien.

Also, depending on the area you are in and how long DH has lived there, you and him can show that you are renting out the property and apply for a new loan on a new home.

I would suggest you find a good lender, and a good realtor in your area and talk through your options. Then approach BM on what she might be interested in (just don't show her your cards and don't seem too interested).