OT - I'm Too Impatient!
This is off-topic but I'd love some advice on how to settle down my own impatient thoughts.
I love, love, love, love my stepkids (SS2 and SD5), and if anything, they've shown me that I definitely want my own children. It kills me to see them to go to their BM's!
I've been with my fiance for about 2 years and we have a fabulous relationship. I am head over heels for him and he is an amazing man. It sounds incredibly corny but I never thought there could be such a perfect fit out there! It DOES exist! Anyways, DF and I are not very well-off financially. He pays child support for his biological son (SS2) and none for SD5 because she is not his biological daughter, although he raised her from infancy and she calls him "Daddy". I do not agree with the amount of CS he pays ($600) because we have his son 50% of the time and also take SD5. BM actually makes more money than him so I don't understand why the courts ruled that he gives her so much, when she has the kids only 15 days of the month and even gets CS from SD5's bio-dad.
DF wants to buy me a ring (I don't currently have one) and I keep telling him that I'd be fine if we just buy wedding rings, or if he buys me a small ring would also be okay. I want to get married within the next year and a half because we both want to have at least one child together. Also, I worry because every female in my family starts having reproductive problems around the age of 30 (I am 27). I'm becoming incredibly impatient because in all reality I do not feel he will ever have the money get me the ring he wants to get me. He keeps saying I deserve something really nice and a big wedding and everything...I don't need all of that though! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE him for saying those things, but I want to get the ball rolling! If we do only have one child, I'd love for him/her to be close enough in age to SS2.
Any advice on saving money, or on getting him to understand that I don't need the "big" ring or the "huge" over-priced wedding????
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My husband and I went to the
My husband and I went to the DMV, got our marriage certificate, and married ourselves in the great outdoors. It was the greatest wedding I could have ever had. I do sometimes miss having the whole shebang, but really what we did was so much more personal and heartfelt. It was amazing. If he HAS to get you an engagement ring maybe it could be something different than a typical engagement ring. A friend of mine had a custom ring made with different colored Amber stones. Instead of buying a seperate wedding ring they just used the one ring and he also had a custom ring made that matches enough to tell it matches, ya know? It's unique and personal and in my own opinion way better than any diamond ring. My husband proposed to me with a ring he got out of a quarter machiene. It wasn't about the jewelry, but about how he proposed. I will never forget that feeling.
If money wasn't an issue, would you want to have a big fancy ring and wedding?
If we won the lottery today,
If we won the lottery today, I would love a small, intimate wedding and a HUGE party for all of our family and friends. In reality I know that we can do that and would get some help from family (my parents and his) to do the wedding part. As far as the ring goes, I don't want to be responsible for anything on my finger that would get me mugged... haha! If money wasn't an issue, I still wouldn't want anything big and gaudy for a ring.
I do like your suggestion about the other kind/style of rings and would be more than happy doing something like that that is meaningful. I think he actually has his own "vision" of what he wants for a wedding (he is really sappy sometimes) and I think he is kicking himself for possibly not being able to fulfill even his own wishes for a big ceremony/production. He often blames himself for ever getting involved with BM, so I really feel a lot of this is still him moping over that... I guess time will tell! Thanks for your suggestions!