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Don't know if DH is going through with his plan

steppie1999's picture

Submitted by steppie1999 on Fri, 02/22/2008 - 9:57am

Couple weeks ago I wrote about DH's decision to start giving SK's choice about coming here EOW. Well, we pick them up tonight. Don't know if he's planning on doing it or not...he hasn't brought it up for a few days and I'm certainly not going to bring it up.

On one hand I don't want him to give them the choice because I'm afraid that if he does, he won't see them again....at least not for a very long time...maybe for their birthdays and holidays so that they can get presents.
On the other hand, it would make it easier for everyone involved if they just don't come.
How terrible am I for feeling this way?
If they don't come:
*SK's won't have to be "grilled" by BM about their weekend because she's always looking for anything she thinks she can use against us.
*SK's won't have to continue being SPIES when they come here.
*Won't have to walk on eggshells in my own home anymore.
*SK's can't involve DH and myself in their lies to BM anymore.
I could make a pros and cons list but in the end, it's not my decision to make but DH's and I know he'd love to continue seeing his kids but I think he'd also be relieved for the same reasons I've listed above and then some.

Comments

Angel's picture

Submitted by Angel on Fri, 02/22/2008 - 10:39am

This would probably be the best for you (and I can relate to this), but not really the best for the child. You are not terrible for feeling this way. But in reality, that father/child bond needs to continue. Your husband wouldn't be happy if he didn't see his kids & that wouldn't be good for you.

I am chomping at the bit myself for the EOW to end, but I won't make anyone end it. It has to come from them.

Mrs Katch 22's picture

Submitted by Mrs Katch 22 on Fri, 02/22/2008 - 10:39am

I'd LOVE to have that option...you're not terrible...or maybe I'm terrible, lol. A few of my other stepmom friends would love to have that option as well....one of their husbands is actually going to ask bm's bf if he's serious about adopting the daughter. They have a baby coming soon and it's chaos whenever the daughter comes over. It's now vs. the long run.....but whatever gives you guys sanity..I'm sure they'l come around when they're older.

laurels4u's picture

Submitted by laurels4u on Fri, 02/22/2008 - 12:46pm

His son lives with us FT but wants to go live with his mother in the worst way and DH won't allow it (eventhough he agreed to let his son make the decision). I suspect that if DH would allow it, our lives would be less complicated as well for the reasons you listed plus more.

All I'm asking for is some good old honesty served up fresh when I ask for it without the side order of hot tongue and cold shoulder!