Oh no!! That is complete BS and to leave you and his daughter out like that!! He is an asshole and you and your daughter deserve better. They are divorced and NO LONGER A FAMILY!!! They are parents that is it!! No way should you stand for that kind of treatment. (((HUGS)))

Is he serious?? That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. I would kick his ass to the curb and nail him for child support for BD3. Let him go play family with BM. You deserve better than to be treated that way. That is unbelievable!!

OMG!!! :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop: I can't even believe this. This is totally inappropriate. If he felt it was necessary to show his children that they still are family, then you and your child should be going as well.

You probably should hand him two cards, one for a marriage counselor, and the other for a lawyer. If he doesn't agree to cancel this "vacation" and see a marriage counselor, pick the lawyer's card.

Fuck that. That is the most ridiculous bullshit I've ever heard of. Your DH sounds like a real douche canoe.

Pack up everything of his while he is on vaca with BM. Change the locks while you are at it. You deserve much better than this.

OMG. I want to punch him in the nuts for you. And I thought I had it bad.

I am so very sorry.

Wow.
Sending hugs your way.
You are right, you and your daughter do deserve better.

OMFG I'm so very sorry to hear this. I'd definitely be done if I were in your shoes. So very sorry!

Oh my gosh, I'm so so sorry.

It sounds like he's already checked out of your marriage. I hope you keep your resolve to get to that divorce lawyer.

Pack his shit NOW! kick him out NOW! What a prick!

Move on, honey. Pack his stuff. Change your locks. See ya! He doesn't REMOTELY deserve you and you don't REMOTELY deserve this disrespectful and hurtful treatment.

Kick him out NOW! file CS on his ass now!

Also, have a consultation with the top 15 attorneys in your area, pick the best one for yourself and have the papers waiting to be served at the airline gate when he gets back.

When is this trip? If it was soon, I'd do what your doing? But if it wasn't until a month or two I couldn't wait that long to kick him out! I wouldn't give him an ultimatum either, he's made his decision, and he chose them! Glad you own the house.

Wooow just wow. I want those balls to meet my heels. Im sorry honey.

you do derserve better so please follow through on your plan

I hope you are not still having sex with this man. No telling what you would catch. I normally do not advise divorce except for a few reasons. And this situation fits. Dump him ASAP. He is not only a bad person...he is nasty.

Honey it don't matter how much you ever loved him, thought you loved him, wanted from him, whatever, he is a scum bag and he does not love you. I'm sorry but you do not go on vaca with your EX, you just don't. Not unless you still love them, having sex with them or something. He has shown that he has no respect for you. No matter how bad it hurts to leave you will hurt more if you stay. Even if for whatever reason you think you don't deserve better your daughter does. I wouldn't be able to wait I would kick his ass out so fast he wouldn't have time to cause drama but you have to do the way you feel is best for you and your BD. Good luck and hang in there. I promise the sooner you get rid of him and his garbage the happier you will be.

Wow, unbelievable. I agree with everyone else, pack his crap and get him out NOW. Why should you be miserable waiting for him to go on his litte soire with BM? You deserve better and so does your BD3. No one should have to put up with mental abuse. ((Hugs))

This is just crazy! I am so happy that my DH wants nothing to do with BM. It will only get worse from here. Sounds to me that the only reason he is even keepingyou around is so that he doesn't have to pay child support to you. Kick his ass out and be free mama!

This is just awful!

When is this cruise anyway? Next week, Next month?

If it is very soon I would keep calm and make a plan. Either way I would immediately make a plan.

IMO, he is thinking one of 2 things. 1) You won't leave him so he doesn't care what you think or 2) He is making plans to leave you. I think it is both!

If he is thinking #1 personally by the time I got finished with him he would be surprised at how strong of a woman I was. Even if you have to find a good friend to help you walk through the steps and give you support do it. You should take this guy to the cleaners (so to speak).

If it is plan #2. I would do the same. I would make plans to leave him so quietly that he wouldn't know what hit him.

Start getting all the evidence against him that you can get and keep it in a safe location and go talk to an attorney.

I am a mild, passive, some would even say submissive woman. I try to please and get along with people. But one lesson that my EX inadverantly taught me is that even if you don't think your strong enough to do something sometimes you have to pull yourself together and do what is best for you and your child.

So reach way down, far deep inside yourself and find the strength to do what you know you HAVE to do. Do it for yourself and for a better life for your child because if he has gone this far it will only get worse.

BTW, I believe you will find you're stronger than what you think!

yes, indeed, stop having sex with him and consult a lawyer pronto. you want to be prepared! your dhm leaving is a great time for you to get this all situated.

the disrespect is unbelievable. he didn't even consult you.

i do know people who have done this before but to do it without your consent or presence is unacceptable.

OMG.. what an insensitive prick!

Kind of wonder if he's being a prick on purpose so that you'll leave him and then he can play the "Oh stepmommy2many is so horrible, she left me when I was just trying to be a goooood daddddy to my kids"

Holy cow, I hate this man for you!

Please, please, please kick this ASSHOLE to the curb. You deserve so much better and so does your DD. He has smacked you down long enough, pull yourself up, stand up and refuse to be his victim any longer. I know it's hard but each day will get easier after you make the first steps of removing him from your life.

And just maybe you'll get lucky enough that he'll fall over the side of that damn boat, cause kharma gave him a good swift kick to the nuts, but that's wishful thinking on my part for you.

I'm sending all my strength & support your way, big hugs sister, you can do this!!

I think you need to sit your DH down and say the following to him:

I am your wife.
This is your daughter.
(insert skids names here) are your son/daughter.
Under the roof of this house is where your "family" lives.

Your exwife is not your family. I do not approve of you leaving me, your wife and going on vacation with another woman and will consider such an action to be your choosing to abandon myself, your daughter, and our home/ marriage.

If you abandon us and go on vacation with another woman (who you have a long romantic and sexual history with), I will file abandonment motions while you are gone. I will have full custody by the time you get back, your crap will be sold on craigs list to the lowest bidder as items left behind during the abandonment process. Please understand that includes all items, from car to toothbrush.

Divorce papers will also be filed, listing reasons for the action being abandonment and adultury. Emergency CS and alimony will already be getting deducted from your paycheck by the time your cruise ship docks.

If it is not your intention to destroy our family: stay home.
If it is your intention to return to your exwife: please do not wait. Go ahead and leave now.

Have his suitcases packed, waiting by the door.

This is hard ball yes. But its your game play it to win it. Then follow through!

If it is not your intention to destroy our family: stay home.
If it is your intention to return to your exwife: please do not wait. Go ahead and leave now.

^^^ I would say this!!!

But I would NOT give him any idea of what will happen if he leaves! (Even tho I would do everything that just his wife said while he was gone).

Let him figure that out when he gets back. Maybe that will give him something to think about when he is gone...

Yes. Not OK AT ALL!

YOU are his family. Period the end.

And if he doesn't realize that, well, then I'd be gone if I were you.

Sometimes cowardly men who want a relationship to end but don't want to do the dirty work themselves will just ignore or antagonise their partner to the point that they end it for them. Then they get their own way without taking any responsibility for it. It's another form of gas lighting.

Your plan for a calm clean break while he's out of the country seems like a good one to me. It's tempting to do it immediately in dramatic style but it will probably only cause you and your child more stress to have a confrontation. The delayed satisfaction of having him come home from his holiday to find the locks changed and his possessions removed will be worth waiting for. Spend the 3 weeks getting legal advice on divorce and preparing to evict him from the house as soon as he has left. And don't give him the satisfaction of tears and recriminations, stay calm and let your actions and your lawyer do the talking.

"Just because we aren't together doesn't mean we're not a family"

Yes, it does. That's exactly what it means. When you are divorced from a person, and you marry and set up a new franchise with someone else, the someone else is your family. Not your ex wife.

When DH moved into my house, BM3 wanted him to bring the kids and meet with her to have "family time" "for the kids". Um, no, and I made it crystal clear that there would be no family time because they aren't a family, and BM no longer calls the shots and sets up the family activities. I do. Because we are family.

{{{{{Hugs}}}}}

I cannot BELIEVE the lack of basic respect this guy is showing towards you...HIS WIFE and mother of his youngest (hopefully!)!!

If you can keep a poker face until he goes, I would do just as you are planning. I wouldn't be as nice as to rent a storage unit either. If I was going to take it anywhere, I would take and throw it onto BM's lawn!

What a horrible, horrible man. If he wanted to play family with BM and skids, they should have never got divorced and he sure as HOLY HELL should have NEVER married and had ANOTHER kid!

I am SO PISSED on your behalf. What type of guy does this shit??