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As The Time Goes By, Does This Get Easier Or More Complicated?

stepmom31's picture

Submitted by stepmom31 on Thu, 03/07/2013 - 6:03pm

SD posted a pic of herself with her new baby sister (BM's baby) as her Facebook profile. And then DH and half his family "Liked" it.

I am just trying to figure out why this bothers me.

I think I'm a little jealous because SD probably never put a pic with our DD as her profile pic, and that maybe she thinks of her as less of a sister?

I don't really understand how DH and his family feel about this baby, and why they would be so neutral or receptive to the baby, while I feel like I don't want to think of the baby as a part of my life.

The baby is very close in age to DH's and my 2 kids and I am just foreseeing the worst as these kids grow older, them wanting to go to BM's, them being friends with this kid, or Worse, thinking this kid is their sister, DH wanting to let this kid come to our house. So many scenarios that I would not have dreamed I would ever have to contemplate.

I like the separateness of DH's and BM's family, but lately some folks seem to be getting friendly again, like SIL and BM's family. And it just crawls my blood because I cannot for the life of me know if to trust anyone who's friendly with BM's family.

Sorry, I'm rambling...

Things have been going so well for a while, I've really been living the life I want, and then this just threw me an emotional curve ball, such a tiny little thing as DH liking a pic of SD and BM's baby on FB. I feel almost silly writing this, but it's good to get it out.

Comments

BSgoinon's picture

Submitted by BSgoinon on Thu, 03/07/2013 - 6:13pm

This is actually what my DH says EVERY TIME BM gets pregnant. Of course she aborts every baby (except SS) before it is born, so it never actually happens. But I kid you not, that is DH's exact thought when BM gets pregnant. (twice in the past 6 years)

blending2012's picture

Submitted by blending2012 on Fri, 03/08/2013 - 3:19pm

stepmom31, I totally get where you're coming from. Logically, you know that it SHOULDN'T bother you, but it does. It can feel like a kick in the gut. Although BM never had any more kids then the 3 she had with my DH, I still get that "kick in the gut" feeling when one of my skids draws a picture of their "family" which contains their mom, their step-DAD and their bio-siblings. Even though they live with my DH, me and their step brothers 70% of the time. Big sigh....

I don't have any words of wisdom for you, just understanding. I would feel the exact same thing if I were you and saw that picture. Hang in there!