My DH is a "psycho BM"?
DH had a little too much to drink this weekend, and I feel like "the psycho BM" in him came out.
I don't know how to deal with this. He never cared too much about what was going on at BM's house because that's pretty much out of his control. But now that BM's bf is living there, and SS is doing a bunch of guy stuff with him, DH is sad, depressed, stressed.
BM's bf has the extra cash to spend on SS, DH doesn't.
BM's bf bought SS a PS3 and plays it with him every day.
BM's bf buys the kids food, so they hardly ever cook. Opposite here, we cook and hardly ever buy food.
BM's bf is teaching SS how to do push-ups, DH says he's mad, not because the bf is teaching SS, but because he's teaching SS the wrong way to do them.
BM's bf talks kinda ghetto eg. "Yo, waz up ma ni$$a?" and DH hates it, and certainly doesn't want his son talking like that.
As I said, this weekend, he had too much to drink, and I saw and overheard him questioning SS about what goes on in mom's house now that BM's bf lives there. It seems that SS was all too eager to spill beans, but I know he was just trying to please his dad. He told DH about the arguing that goes on at mom's house between BM and bf. Who slams what, who says what, etc.
Jeez, I wish DH would just leave it all alone and not go "psycho BM" on me.
I guess it's phase that almost all bio-parents go through when a new parental figure steps in....???? Our BM's "psycho-ness" came out most at key points in our life - marriage, pay-cuts, babies. She has calmed down a lot now.
I hope last weekend's events don't happen again. I'm still waiting for the right time to chat with DH about it and trying to figure out my approach. Any thoughts or advice?????
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You know what...I've noticed
You know what...I've noticed this at times also...and I think if most of us admitted it, a lot of the NCP do the psycho stuff also.
In fact I was the one to get my bf to back off interrogating (even though he was subtle with it) about BM. Now that there is 'domestic partnership' going on with mom and her new (but was also in the past) lover, I know he's wanting to know what's going on and seems more disturbed now then previously.
He does refrain from talking bad though, and does better now then before. He even calls his parents out-which I didn't know about, but apparently they are very vocal about their dislike of moms orientation or any action/misdeed BM does (which are a lot)-I tell him he really needs to reign them in.
your husband should try to
your husband should try to think of it in a different way...maybe the BF is just trying to get your SS to like him and that's the only way he knows how.
Oh I must admit I in fact did
Oh I must admit I in fact did say somethign the other day, because I had enough.
The BM has always trash talked bf to SD because he missed her first soccer game (of the season) last year-we had gone out of town for my bday. ONE game he missed. He doesn't miss them otherwise. Plus I don't get it-the kid has grandparents, sometimes aunts/uncles, plus parents show up, how many spectators does one kid need?
Anyways-the BM missed about half of the games that season-anytime it was bf's weekend she wouldn't go-AND missed the last game! This season BM missed the first game, and again missed it this past game, and didn't take her to get her hair fixed for pic day as she had promised either.
So, since bf goes to ALL games it rubbed me wrong when SD complained that the ONE time he had missed her first game because him and I were out of town the previous year (we were camping this wknd)...You must understand that this kid is always repeating moms vomit-and we had done so much to make this camping trip happen-so I said, yeah well if I remember your mom missed the last one that season, and several this season also, including your first game...dont' hold one game against your dad (by the way I stopped going to her games this season).
You know what's the big deal??? This season my kids are starting bskbtl-my ex will show whenever it's his wknd, otherwise he won't-PLUS he moves his "start date" from Fri to Sat during the game as to not make two trips back/forth lol-my parents will miss most of their games, I doubt my brother will tow baby to see them-so most of the time it will just be me at their games-somehow sd needs a ten person or so audience.
Overall though I don't say much-I did that time-plus she apparently complained to my kids that her mom missed her first game and this one this week....and didn't meet to get her hair fixed, AND of all huge surprises she actually told my kids that her mom was a lesbian..my kids didn't know, she hasn't even brought that up with us!
So a breakthrough in some ways, i guess she trusted them enough to spill the beans-my kids are still a little perplexed