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It is hard to decide if I am weak or strong...

stepmom2011's picture

Submitted by stepmom2011 on Wed, 05/29/2013 - 11:37pm

Am I weak to wait for my husband? OR am I strong? I love him. End of story. It's hard to determine what category I am in. Anyone feel this way?

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Starla's picture

Submitted by Starla on Thu, 05/30/2013 - 12:35am

Apologies but I'm confused here as to what I'm not hearing. Can you clarify yourself of what you are waiting for? Are you temporarily separated and waiting around in case your husband comes to his senses or something like that?

HungryEyes's picture

Submitted by HungryEyes on Thu, 05/30/2013 - 8:28am

You need more than love to make a marriage work.
End of story.

You need respect, communication, compromise.

You have none of that with him

Strength would be walking away and starting a new life on your own.

Starla's picture

Submitted by Starla on Thu, 05/30/2013 - 1:21pm

After reading some of your blogs, I don't consider you a weak person bc you have been through a lot and you are still trying. Like yourself, I too have a SD15 who enjoys physically hurting me. It is important that you space yourself from your SD in your situation. If you don't do it, no one will then!

Its great that you have stood your ground as best as you could with your DH and it sounds like he could be coming to his senses somewhat at least. Smile The way I see it, your DH has had his hands full and now that you came along in his life..its almost as if you have been rewiring his parental ways. Disney Dads need that and some do snap out of it. I personally view you as being strong, need a little help, support, and some tools to get through this safely. Smile

stepmom2011's picture

Submitted by stepmom2011 on Fri, 05/31/2013 - 3:03pm

Exactly, I am on here for support. I need to be sure I have done absolutely everything I can (that it within my own control) to make my marriage work. In the meantime... I need support and encouragement to make it through. It took a lot of courage to take the steps I have taken. I am in my own place. I have not seen or spoken to SD15 since the last time she battered me. I have made it clear that I will not go back unless certain things are in place to ensure my protection. DH has a deadline in September. I hope he meets it. Because I will miss him everyday of my life. If he chooses not to meet it, then it is a legal matter. Legal separation and he will no longer see me or talk to me. All the paperwork is drawn up. He asked me to give him till September or he will agree to everything in the separation agreement written up with my lawyer.

I am afraid. I want him to meet me in the middle here. I want to be with him. He is my love. He is just as afraid of his daughter as I am. He does not like her. But he loves her. He is polite, but that is about all. He is such a gentle spirit. If you spent one hour with him, you would know what I mean. To give him up would be to tear myself in half. I've been divorced before. It is not something I care to do again. I drew my line in the sand. I am safe. It's his move now. The waiting has been hard.

Please be supportive while I wait. My exit plan is firmly in place. I just really hope I won't need it.