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OT - Would be better to ignore or acknowledge Vday for widowed MIL?

stepmasochist's picture

Submitted by stepmasochist on Fri, 02/12/2010 - 12:28pm

MIL's husband died close to this time of year nearly 3 years ago. I was thinking of getting her a card and maybe some candy from DH and I and the kids for Valentine's. But I'm wondering will that make her miss her deceased husband more (probably), but should I do it anyway even though it more than likely somewhat renew the pain of her loss?

I get along very well with my MIL, btw. And I know that FIL used to always give her Valentine's gifts. She usually sets all the stuffed animals and cards from years gone by from him out for the holiday.

What do you think?

Comments

folkmom's picture

Submitted by folkmom on Fri, 02/12/2010 - 12:31pm

i think at a certain age and place in life people get past the belief that vday is all amount romance etc...and realize it can be about caring and appreciation. she has not had a valentine in 3 yrs and it is special to her...imagine a smile on her face when she knows your family took the time to stop and think of her. if that's not love...

TheWife's picture

Submitted by TheWife on Fri, 02/12/2010 - 12:31pm

When my husband's stepdad passed, he was unsure whether to still call her and wish her a happy anniversary on their anniversary. He went ahead and did it anyway, and although she was sad, she was glad he remembered.

~*~When you kiss ass, your breath smells like sh*t~*~

soverysad's picture

Submitted by soverysad on Fri, 02/12/2010 - 12:39pm

I think in general people like to be remembered and they like to know that people remember that someone special that they lost too. People often send me emails / notes in December letting me know they're thinking of me. They never mention my brother's death, but I know that is their point and it makes me feel better that people have not forgotten him. I think you should send her something.

"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!

Most Evil's picture

Submitted by Most Evil on Fri, 02/12/2010 - 6:10pm

I think it would be sweet to give her a Valentine. I remember when I was younger my mom giving me valentines, and I miss that so much now that she is sick. Put a smile on her face while you can!! Smile
_________________________________________________________
“Learn by practice.” - Martha Graham

stepmasochist's picture

Submitted by stepmasochist on Mon, 02/15/2010 - 4:50pm

Thanks ya'll. I gave her a box of candy (pot o' gold, mmmm) and I noticed SIL and BIL gave her a stuffed bear, like FIL used to do. I think she appreciated us thinking about her.

Most Evil's picture

Submitted by Most Evil on Tue, 02/16/2010 - 8:03pm

Hey cool!!
_________________________________________________________
“Learn by practice.” - Martha Graham