My mom started letting me have a say in picking my own clothes out when I was in 7th grade. Prior to that, it was pretty much whatever they bought us. I think I may have asked for specific stuff before that age but she generally made the decision.

My mom let me pick out and buy my own school clothes at the dept store. She would give the clerk her credit acct info and I would have X amount to spend. I don't believe she ever had to veto any of my choices as I was pretty much aware what was a go/no go for my school's dress code at that time.

Prior to that, if we went, it was only for trying on for fit. especially shoes.

I stopped almost cold two years ago, within reason.
I'll help DH with giving them online choices but that's it, I help choose, they pick out of "x" number of choices and he buys.
I've given up on helping buy socks/underwear as well since I'm the only one, including BM, who made sure they had those items.

BM has picked up some slack and has taken them shopping of a sort a couple times.
I think they get to pick out some things, but very few things. Like if they need sweaters (multiple because they've grown out of the ones they have, she'll buy ONE and guarantee then it's never washed because they won't take it off).

DH has taken them here and there as well and I did help him last spring when they had to get some summer items for a trip. Both SDs are picky with various things (SD13 is about the feel of the cloth and won't go for anything like denim...but likes dresses and SD11 doesn't like any embellishment at all, the plainer the better). They have to live with their choices which is good, but they get little parental guidance overall.

So in the end it's a mix of online vs. in person shopping and parent has last say (style, price, etc.).

I wouldn't hold a miserable shopping trip two years ago at seven to a now 9 year old. I also wouldn't allow Little Miss Brittany free rein.

My two cents believes at nine she should get some say. That's not to say she can pick up and wear anything she wants regardless of style and/or budget. Dad needs to , of course, set guidelines on what will and will not be acceptable and limit prices. Examples, let her pick colors and prints on shirts/tees that Dad finds appropriate. If it's jeans, let her pick a pair out of fur or five given choices.

I'm not saying there is really anything wrong in the way you and Dad are doing it now, but I do get the kid's resentment of having absolutely no say in any of it. I'd sit her down next to you online and play trial run. Pull up a site (example, Kohls) and tell her to select a few outfits or mix and match pieces. If it's all no-no clothes, let her try again. Eventually do the ' SD, what about this shirt?' with the why or why not chance on her part. If she's still a Brittany wanna-be and unreasonable, nuts to her. Back to just doing it all for her. Period.

Why does a nine year old know who britany spears is? I have no idea what kind of clothes britany spears wears these days.

Anyway, aside from that, my husband and I rarely buy clothes without sd there. The times that I have she will often not wear many of those clothes, so it is pointless going without her. Most of her clothes (except underwear and leggings) comes from thrift stores. Occasionally she might get something from Ross or Target. When we go shopping she will look and select some things and we will select some things and then we will reject any of hers that are not suitable and she will reject any of our choices that she does not like then she tries them on and we see what works. It goes pretty smoothly if the shopping trip is kept fairly short.

On a daily basis she chooses what clothes to wear, as long as her outfit is suitable for school and the weather we are ok with it whether or not it all matches or whatever, we let her wear what she wants. Sometimes her outfits look a bit crazy but she is happy so that is fine by us, it is not worth an argument.

My eldest started choosing her own clothes with boundaries from the age of 3. My youngest already picks her own shoes. I don't take them to stores where I cannot afford the clothes they can choose from. The boundaries were and are set firmly before we go shopping. An example is:

3 x t-shirts
3 x short that go to mid thigh
3 x jeans with no holes in them

And so on and so forth. Having raised my eldest this way at age 9 she can shop almost 90% responsibly without my having to show her the boundary. There is the occasional item she might ask for that is not what I consider age appropriate but she never throws a frothy if I say no.

Never took Deigma with me while cloths shopping and yes I still do it for him, even if he's 21...
I know what he likes and I'm a bargain hunter, he likes it.... he simply gives his card to me and say - I need this or that... he does not care what I get cause it's always more then what he would've bought and I'm in budget.

Aergia was left to do her own shopping since the age of 10.... and then I wonder why this girl is dressing like a kardashian?? Not my kid and not my problem

I do recall one shopping trip my SD's took alone. I believe that the older one was 16 and the younger was about 13. We had given them each a bit of pocket money and they also had a little Christmas funds too. I think they each had about 100 dollars to "blow".

Well, when they came home, the 13 yo had a shoe box. In said shoe box was a pair of 6 inch platform heels that cost almost 50 bucks.

I had a talk with both of them and said the shoes were ridiculous because there was NOWHERE a 13 year old girl should or could wear shoes like that. The older one rolled her eyes like I had no idea what I was talking about. Of course the YSD liked them because 1. older sister did and 2. she wanted to play grown up.

In the end, we returned them and YSD got something she could actually wear and enjoy. But those shoes.. bright red patent letter 6 inch platform spiked heels.. they stayed at the store.

SO and i took his son clothes shopping so he could try on pants because he outgrew his current ones. My mom took me a lot when we were kids. She would let me pick out clothes within reason and the little girls department. I also think that 20 years ago clothes were a little bit more conservative.

I just remember trying clothes on to see what fit and good and what I liked. As I got older I did the same. I liked just a shirt and jeans mostly when I was little. As I got older my mother never worried even into my teens what I wore. I liked to dress appropriate for my body. I hate anything too low cut because I am large uptop so I do not really like being looked at. Even as a kid I hated when things were too short.

I would say try again with her see what happens. Just tell her if she wants to pick out her own clothes you and your DH have veto rights on everything.

i thank the Lord above that they are all BOYS. they choose a mix of athletic or preppy, and they all have good (albeit exPENsive) taste. when they need stuff they get it on SALE if it's on our dime. unless it's a special request like Christmas or birthday. g-ma and MIL actually fund the majority of their clothes, and they are also both bargain hunters.

i dont know what i'd do if we had a girl who wanted to dress like brittney or came in with hooker shoes. H3LL NO. even hubby says "God KNEW not to give me any daughters..." and i'm glad, cuz dumb@$$ has shown some inappropriate clothing choices for herself as a grown @$$ adult- i couldnt imagine what she'd let a girl get away with...