BM lies about working on Holidays
So last year on a holiday BM told DH she would be picking up SD7 for her scheduled holiday per the CO.
We arrive to meet BM at exchange place and only SF shows up to retrieve SD. He informed us BM was at work. BM never told DH she would be working nor did she let him know SF would be picking up SD.
This was so unfair to SD that she then spent the entire holiday without either bio parent. I thought it was completely effed up that BM did this.
DH and I discussed that if this happens again this year we would tell SF "You can let BM know SD will be available for pickup when she gets out of work". It's fine when SF picks up SD for regular exchanges but on a holiday we feel SD should stay here if BM is at work. This works both ways if DH had to work I would have DH tell BM to pickup SD if she wanted to regardless of who's time it was. It's a holiday and she should be with one of her parents.
How would others handle this?
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Your husband can't do that if
Your husband can't do that if there is a CO in place. Here (NYC) a stunt like that would result in SD seeing the NYPD forcing dad to hand the kids over. All BM has to do is call 911, tell them dad isn't follow the court order and show the court order once the police arrived. The cops will make dad hand over the kid, then give mom a police order to use in court. ExDF had to do this in July when BM decided she wasn't going to follow the court court order.
Neither parent gets to say who the child is with during the other person's time unless there is a CO stating otherwise.
Shouldn't BM have to be
Shouldn't BM have to be present at the scene in order to enforce HER visitation? So she would just call from work and throw a fit on the phone but not even be physically here to pickup SD?
The CO also states that BM is supposed to notify if a 3rd party will be picking up SD. So isn't she violating it by lying about working in the first place?
I wonder how many cops have forced a child to go with a non parent on a holiday? I soppose anything would be at a cops discretion if it got to that point.
Depending on her job, she
Depending on her job, she could explain what's going on, request to leave to deal with it then return to work. I'm sure most employers would be understanding ~especially if her boss is a NCP.
When DM pulled this with exDF, the whole process (her telling him he couldn't pick the kids up, him calling 911, meeting the cops at her house, getting the kids and the officer completing the police report) took about 1 1/2 hours.
Depending on her job, she
Depending on her job, she could explain what's going on, request to leave to deal with it then return to work. I'm sure most employers would be understanding ~especially if her boss is a NCP.
When DM pulled this with exDF, the whole process (her telling him he couldn't pick the kids up, him calling 911, meeting the cops at her house, getting the kids and the officer completing the police report) took about 1 1/2 hours.
It's too bad that there's
It's too bad that there's nothing you can do about it, but it's still crappy that your BM did that.
Our BM did something similar on Good Friday last year. It was her year to have SD, but it also meant that my husband would go 4 weeks without seeing her. So since he was off on Good Friday, he asked BM if he could have SD for just that day. BM said that they already had big family plans for the whole weekend so he couldn't see SD.
My sister lives in the same town as BM and SD. She went to a community event on Good Friday and saw SD there with her babysitter, who happens to be my sister's neighbor. My sister talked to her and found out that BM was working that day. So BM had lied to my husband. She would rather have SD spend the day with her babysitter than with one of her parents.