I'd confiscate the games for rent money. This kid is old enough to know better. Or I'd tell him to go raid someone else's fridge and sleep on someone else's couch.

It would be fair if he spent 20 bucks on 1 xbox game. This is ridiculous. I wouldn't put up with it. I shutter to think what would happen if my ss pulled that bs. Let me tell you, I can give the longest lectures on responsibility you've ever heard (I can outlast the spongebob marathon!), and that would be nothing compared to the talking to he'd get from his dad.

If this kid is over 18-I'd give him the boot!

He is obviously very immature to spend money on toys when he is not paying or saving for his own basic expenses. Unfortunately lots of young men are immature. Also some adult, middle aged, and older men too. There is not much you can do about his immaturity. Time may fix it, or it may not. Even making him move out may not fix it - there are lots of immature people out there suffering the consequences of their immaturity with evictions, poor credit ratings, etc. and yet they continue in their irresponsible, immature ways.

Having said that, nothing you can do will change him, including kicking him out, you might as well kick him out. It's not like he is using your good will to let him live with you in a productive manner to save money. If he is going to be like that, may as well be somewhere else.

If you have your wife's support, you could ask him to move out in 30 days. If you don't have your wife's support, I suggest you go to a counselor and probably the counselor will suggest the young man move out. Believe me, when the counselor suggests it, your wife will likely accept it. But she won't accept it from you.

If you don't have your wife's support, and she will not accept what the counselor says, you will have to choose whether it is beter to stay with her and put up with stepson, or leave her and not have to put up with stepson.

I know it's an awful choice. Sorry you are in this situation.

Nellie

I don't know how you haven't pulled it out by now.

I think your wife, ss, and sd confuse your kindess as weakness and when you offer an inch they completely rob you of 500 miles.

I don't know how you motivate other peoples' children. I don't have advice for you to motivate your skids to become functional adults, while their bioparents are sabotaging their future by teaching them to be moochers and users. I don't know how to change the minds of the children that suffer from undermining parents.

What I do know, is that you are totally being taken for a ride, and the only person that can change that is you, and you are going to have to change that by changing your wife. I don't believe she does support you. From my experience, moms (that are riddled with guilt) tell dads one thing, and then turn around and directly undermine stepdads/dads, by telling the kids something totally different to the kids, and I suspect that is what your wife is doing.

If my dh didn't recently send his kid packing to go live with biobitch, my dh and I were going to be faced with a troubled marriage. My ss's bm can't keep a man in her life b/c her son is highly disrespectful to the adults in her life, and she refuses to stand up to her own son.

If I were in your situation, and I did tell my dh this after he sent ss packing, I would live separately from my dh if he decided that he wanted to continue trying to raise a kid with his undermining mother. If my dh decides to take custody of ss again, he will have to move out of our house, and raise him in another location. I will NOT live with his ill mannered son ever again! And my ss isn't too different from your ss.

You might want to consider living separately from your wife until her kids fly from her nest. If she undermines you, you will not accomplish too much with her kids.

Good luck to you steamed, I certainly hope you find some help!

Candice