DH had a meeting with her at the courts on Monday. He was there for almost 3 hrs. He said she started by asking him for his life story. I am so proud of him. I think back to the first time we were in court about 2yrs ago and how I would get so upset and push him, trying desperatly to get him to see how wrong BM was. It's not that way now. In fact, he wouldn't even need me, except as it should be, for support. He believes wholeheartedly in what we are doing, and wants more than anything to give SD the best life he can.

He thinks the interview went well, and yesterday was the at home meeting and when she left I felt really good about it. She told us that Bm was supposed have her first meeting on Thursday morning, but didn't come. The caseworker said BM left a message early that morning saying she thought the meeting was at 9am, but couldn't remember. Then she just didn't show up. The caseworker said she didn't get the message until after the meeting was supposed to have started. My mom keeps saying actions speak louder than words, I hope she's right.

Wednesday morning Our attorney faxed us BM's "amended counter petition to modify". I was in a panic for a short while because in it she is claiming DH "has a history of family violence within the two years preceding the filing." WHAT! She is asking the courts to place SD in her possession and only give DH supervised visits. It states BM "has suffered damages". I was glad to hear our attorney is not worried. He actually laughed. He said BM did not file asking for immediate protection of SD and that this paperwork is only to notify us and the courts what they intend to prove in final trial. This is rediculous, the only thing we can think of is she is going to continue to lie about the incident at the daycare when she tried, and failed, to get DH arrested by lying that he assaulted her. SO even if she is going to cling to that lie, that happened on Oct. 3, we had the hearing to change temp orders on Oct 29 and she said NOTHING ABOUT THAT. If you are really concerned about your child's safety, wouldn't you mention it in front of the judge? And not just bring it up after you got turned down for taking a trip out of the state and scolded by another judge.

We also got a bunch of "Discovery" we have to prepare. They want every slip of paper that has anything to do with our money, BM or the case, dating back to Oct 2006. I get exhausted just thinking about it. We have 30 days so I really need to get started. I know this is not all about me, but I do feel a little resentful to BM thinking how she didn't seem interested in doing anything to help this case along until she found out we are having a baby. I guess my dreams of using this pre-baby time to work on SD's scrapbook and have some peacful family time are out of the question. or at least have to be put aside for now. I sure hope we can get to final trial before July. The baby is due then, if BM gets her license she could keep Sd for a month then, and BM's license supension ends July 31.

Sd was great with the caseworker. she gave her a tour of our house and showed her the front bedroom as, "my baby's room". Then she told the caseworker the names of all of the people on her bulletin board, including BM. She was very polite and sweet. then she and DH went to play outside while the caseworker talked with me. I got to play the recordings I have of BM the night her mom beat her, and of SD talking about it a week later. I hope my gut is telling me right that she kinda already had her mind made up on the facts, including BM's record. She told me her role is to help the courts by submitting a recomendation on what would be the best home for the child, then she said, "but it sounds like the courts have already decided that." I sure hope that is meant as the temporary orders are right on as far as she is concerned and prob. wont change. The rest of this stuff feels like a bunch of junk to us. I'm sure this discovery is just their attempt to dig up junk and try to discredit us. Or, they are hoping we will run out of money. We will, but we are willing to make payments for the rest of our lives if it means a good life for SD.

She said she usually has already met with the other party before the home interview and would have questions for us. We offered to do anything we can to help this along, including meeting her at her office if she wanted another meeting later. She seemed to brush it off, as if to say that won't be nescessary.

BM's attorney is also pushing for a mental examination of SD. They say she is suffering from severe separation anxiety from her mother. Yeah, if what they really mean is she misses her mom, that went off to Disney World without her and missed four visits in a row, and she worries abourt her mom after hearing her get beat up, then yes, I guess that would be true. But I don't think that's what they are trying to prove. We really don't want to subject SD to having to be alone with a stranger trying to get her to talk. She is 3. The therapist I talked to on the phone last month told me SD did not need to see anyone unless we noticed severe changes in her behavior. Like not sleeping or eating. Sd is happy and content. SD cried for a minute when BM left last Monday after her visit, but she was crying because she wanted BM to stay and spend the night at our house. Then when she came for her Wedneday Visit, SD didn't cry at all. She held the door open for her and said, "Bye Mommy!". Sd hardly wants to talk to her on the phone, and when she does she's not in tears. BM has been making a huge deal about all the Christmas presents she has for her over there and how she can't have any until SD goes back over there to spend the night. That's all SD can think about when BM is around or on the phone. It's sad. Our attny told her's we will allow her to be evaluated by someone appointed by the courts, only if BM pays for it. He told her attny we do not believe it will be productive because she is so young and we teach her not to talk to strangers. But if is, it will prob. be to our avantage.

BM didn't show up at all for her 9-12 visit this morning. At least last Saturday she called, (an hour after the visit was to have started) and said she was sick and not coming. I get exhausted waiting, wondering if she is going to show. It's like waiting for the enemy to attack.

Oh, yeah, and SD cut her hair with her safty scissors yesterday. We had a talk about responsability and I told her I was dissapointed in her for doing it after I had just reviewed the rules the day before. She cried a bit, as she should. I know this is something many kids do, DH and I weren't mad at all. I took SD and she got a very cute little bob. I think it looks great on her. Now we wait and anticipate BM's reaction. See, SD is her little doll. She has to be in control of how she looks because BM's favorite thing is fixing her up and showing her off. I had to resist my urge to make everything okay and call BM right away and let her know what happened. DH says we should not worry about it. It was not an emergency, we didn't make a decision without her, SD did, and she's fine. ANd maybe BM will get a little taste of what we felt like when she brought SD back with her ears pierced and surprised us. We will have the recorder going in case we catch her scolding DH and myself in front of SD.

SD went with us to the DR. appt last week and heard the baby's heartbeat. It was awesome!