Only A Matter Of Time
Well, the stepdaughter really screwed up last night. She has been with us for a little over a week, after running from her bio mother's house because she didn't like the rules trying to be enforced. Well, she snuck out of the house last night (only 15) and left with her boyfriend (who she is forbidden to be alone in a car with anymore per the bio mom - only the bio mom won't tell my boyfriend why his daughter can't be alone with him). The phone rang a 1:30 a.m. because the boyfriend's car broke down and the police were there - the boyfriend apparently had a suspended license and had been arrested for something just last week. Well, the mother went to the scene and came to our house - now get this - the daughter was in the car petrified to come back into the house so the mother told the boyfriend that even if she bought her home, the biomom would bring her back in the morning to have a talk - My boyfriend wanted her in the house right then and there. I finally went to bed because again, the mother is letting the daughter have an out by allowing her to decide where she would stay - nothing will change if the biomom keeps hiding the bad stuff from my boyfriend and then smoothing things over when she does pull her tricks. Then, my boyfriend had the nerve to say that my daughter knew where she was and didn't tell us - I then set him straight that it wasn't my daughter who snuck out of the house and it's not up to my daughter to stop his daughter - they all have their own minds and she needs to be held accountable once and for all.
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Comments
Wow
Can't that woman see what she's doing!!!! Any idea what bio-moms idea of conscequences are going to be for this one?
I'm glad you set your man straight about turning blame on your daughter..That is so irritating!! My guy has been guilty of that tactic too...when I would complaint about the messy 18 yr old SD (who did 100 % nothing !!)he would "try" to divert the conversation to my 11 yr old doing laundry/dishes etc. I would have to explain (slowly...using little words sometimes .lol) that I expect a woman old enough to vote...to at least pick up after herself and I expect to have to remind an 11 yr old....
Your situation with lax mom's and troubled daughters..sounds kind of familiar. I have a divorced friend who's 14 yr old daughter just moved in with her "LAX" bio-mom. The mom has maturity issues and wants to be her buddy. Well Poo hit-the fan yesterday. While young missy was in the shower..A chat room friend popped on screen to say "miss you" "your hot" "whish you were 18 etc." and was talking to the mom unknowingly. HE"S in his 30"s with kids!!!! What the hell is he doing with a 14 yr old... DATELINE NBC pedaphile episode!!!!
So mom calls Dad about what to do!!! The child lives with her cause she didn't like Dads' rules!! And he's asking me about how to begin tracking her chat history etc. THERE SHOULD BE NO MORE CHAT HISTORY PERIOD!!!! Her fingers should never touch a keyboard. He wants to catch the bast##$D!! And he says Mom will not ban her from the computer!! So I don't think he is..... ?????
I don't get it!! It's a no brainer!! Someone still has to be the parent...everyone can't be the "buddy"!! It's just tooo Scary..this child obviously does not have enough common sense to be unsurprvised for long periods of time!!!!
Your step daughter will look back one day and see who truly cared enough for her... the ones who sacrifice themselves up as the "bad guy" to keep them safe & sound!!!
Thanks
For your words - The stepdaughter truly sees me as the enemy and both her parents are in denial - they both give her an out when the going gets tough - my boyfriend really is trying to do what's right through my guidance but it's always undone by the biomom - I'm just hoping for the best - I have dealt with discipline issues with my 21 year-old son and now my 16 year-old daughter and have always made them pay consequences. It's about time that their 15 year-old daughter pay the consequences before it's too late.
Aren't all adults the enemy?
If your an adult & can enforce any rules, you are pure evil as far as teens are concerned. The only way they seem to like any adult is if they rubber stamp everything they want to do. Please don't take her attitude too personally, take it with the perverbial grain of salt & know you are trying to do your best.