I have to
I have never been to the doctor as much in my life all together as I have since I've been with fiancee. I have generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder so I'm a natural worry wart and am always nervous and on edge. I was panic attack free for 2 years before I moved in with fiancee. When we were together for 6 months I was diagnosed with IBS, they thought I had Crohns for awhile because I had alot of the symptoms but it turned out the other way around. My IBS is stress-induced...I was symptom free until I moved in with fiancee, now I have abdominal pain everyday(spasms). I get tension headaches a couple days before FSS shows up every other week. Speaking of which this morning BM never showed up to pick him up so fiancee was late for work, she had her phone turned off and wouldn't call back. This morning I was back in the doctors office for leg pain, they thought I had a blood clot...great...so there I sat wondering if I had a big clot in my leg..everything came out clear and doc said it's probably the weather and stress. Stress, I can't have anymore than I already have. So I get home and all I can think about is do I really want to live this way until FSS is 18? I know myself, I get stressed out easily, and the path I'm on is making me be on a path to having a heartattack before I'm 40. And everytime I talk about this to fiancee he always pulls this "so when are you moving out than?" Maybe I should just leave on the weekends FSS comes to visit, stay in a hotel, stay away from the stress and drama. Maybe I should just totally all around disengage and not get involved with FSS anymore. I'm just at a loss, I love fiancee very much but nothing is really changing and I'd feel terribly guilty leaving him cause he's never treated me badly...it's BM, FSS and his family that are unbearable for me. And I've taken the high road long enough I feel. I'm just lost right now...
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yoga
Have you ever tried yoga. I have scoliosis and it seems like my back always hurts one way or another but what I learned thru the simplest yoga moves is that you hold your stress in your body. For example, if you lay on your back and put one leg as straight up as you can and pull it toward your chest as much as you can, it releases so much tension because you hold so much tension in your hamstring.
I am the nervous worrying type too. I can only do yoga when I am by myself because it is a struggle for me to be still and silent enough to get in touch with whatever is going on inside me. You can get a cheap DVD on Amazon, there is one with Ali McGraw or I have Kathy Smith but it always makes me feel better, even though I can't even get thru 1 dvd of a 3-dvd set because I get tired.
Once you can feel your own calm true self inside you again, you can see things more clearly. If you love your man you can stay with him, and just not see the others for a while.
"Fortune favors the brave" - Virgil
i'll have to check into yoga...
I've always thought about it but never checked into it...will do that! Thanks evil
yeah
it feels really good to stretch too, like a cat!
"Fortune favors the brave" - Virgil
take up a relaxing hobby
I started to crochet again.
I wanted to make a quilt for my sons (to have and pass down) and I realized how relaxed I am when I am doing it... it makes me feel good to make something for my Bss and to see my work turn into a blanket.
although when I get really stressed out, I run HARD on my treadmill..
learn that when I was married to ex- either that or run him over with my car.
LOL
“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”
My health...
Has never been better since I broke up with the ex gf. The bug eyes are gone; the hump on my shoulders is starting to go away; I don't have the urge to ring the bells at Notre Dame anymore......
funny
that is funny!! although if you have the urge to ring some bells, grab a frying pan or two the list is LONG!!
“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”
Hi
Sorry to hear you are feeling like this.It must be hard to deal with those those health issues with little support.My BF is not very sympathetic to my depression either and has said similiar things.I think it's quite uncaring for him to say 'when are you moving out then?' It takes two to work at a relationship.Quite often I feel like giving up on our relationship tho'.(I'm not sure what the F in FSS means btw). I find a good swim in the pool sometimes helps me to unwind.Good luck
f= future
f is for future step son or daughter or you will see FH which stands for future husband!
“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”
Ok. Maybe it's because I'm
Ok. Maybe it's because I'm PMSing BUT what I pulled from that was this... He doesn't care how stressed you are he's keeping everything as is....hence the "when are you leaving?" question. I was the same way with my ex...always at the doctor and always sick. He used to say "If you don't like it then leave." So I did. Within months I was off of my meds and feeling like the old me. Even long-time friends of mine commented on how much happier I was since leaving him. Please make sure you take care of yourself first! No man is worth bad health. You haven't married him so you are at an advantage that you wouldn't have to deal with a divorce.
I in no way want to hurt your feelings...I just want to help you save some of your youth for a man that will give a shit about your health and happiness.
it's ok
no feelings are being hurt at all...I have made it clear that if things don't change soon I'll be taking my things and leaving..I'm not going to put up with this crap anymore..he says he wants to change his parenting style but I don't think he wants to that bad...BOTH FH and BM are lazy parents, and I'm not...which is why we argue all the time about parenting...he favors his and wonders why my daughter has a problem with him...we're going to talk to her therapist alone next week because she wants to tell him HE is in the wrong the way he's acting...if nothing changes after that than I'm outta here. Believe me, I will not let myself be sick over this BS anymore...especially when it's not my family or my child and noone wants to change for the better....
PS...I think he cares about me, he just can't get over the fact that his kid needs some REAL guidance and not pity..