why does BM put sKids in clothes that are too small?
is it her way of thinking that they AREN'T growing up? Does she not look at them after SHE dresses them?
Yes we do have our own clothes (thank god), it's 50/50 EOW custody but even when it comes to things like jackets and shoes she always gets them too small. Heaven forbid DH buy anything for them, if we send it to her house we usually never see it again. So it's not like we haven't tried. Our answer is to buy our own and keep them at our house. I am waiting for SS7 to realize what is going on and say something but he is pretty clueless.
This week it was new shoes - one size too small for SS7. I asked him if they were okay and of course he defends BM. I told him that they last two pairs he had were size 3 and these are size 2. So he tell me that they are 2.5! I told him that I can read and it says 2, just 2.
A few weeks before that SS7 had a birthday party to go to before going to BM's on Sunday but the pants that she sent him in were too small, like super tight. There wouldn't be time to change him before dropping him off like we usually do so we put him in a pair of our jeans and DH told BM that they were our pants, handed her the other pants and told her they were too small for him. Yeah we haven't seen them since but the joke is on her, even though I plan to ask for them back so we can hand them down to SS5, they are actually on the brink of being too small. They are size 7 and we have him going into size 8 now. Up until a couple months ago BM was sending him over in size 6 pants.
Now it's funny when BM send him over in stuff that is just WAY to small I say something to SS7. Like that it's too small and he probably shouldn't wear that over to our house any more. He must tell BM what I say because I haven't seen those shirts again.
And she isn't any better with ss5. She just recently stopped sending him over in 5T clothes! He usually has marks on his waists when she drops him off from wear pants that are too tight and none of his shirts fit him, they are all super small or way too big.
I know kids grow fast and clothes are expensive but with EOW DH and I just buy a few outfits, enough to get through a week and maybe more. And we get hand me downs from DH's cousin and hand down the nicer stuff to SS5.
I can only assume that she send them to school like that. How embarrassing that must be for them but I am not worried they teacher know who week it is because of the bus schedule.
I guess I shouldn't care since DH and I take the steps to insure that when they are with us they look nice - even if it means bringing a change of clothes when we pick sKids up from BM for family things (which we do). I just hope at some point SS7 realizes how uncomfortable tight clothes are and stops defending her.
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Comments
Just because she sends them
Just because she sends them to your house dressed that way, doesn't mean they wear that junk with her.
SDs8&5 have two sets of clothes at their mom's house~dad day crap and the nice stuff. The daddy day crap is torn, dirty, and too small.
I run into the girls with their mom on the subway, buses and on stores often. I have never seen them wearing any of the crap they come to our house in when they are with BM.
We just have them change when they get yo our house.
I have considered that but I
I have considered that but I have also seen pictures on the school website and on things that teachers send home included the picture day photos. Yeah she sends them to school like that, though impressively enough at the Christmas program this year they both had on very nice (ugly mismatched) outfits that were way too big to the point that SS5 had to hold his pants up the whole time. So that was nice for a change. lol
Even on shared holidays we change them before taking them to see our families. She has this thought in her head that they need to wear collared shirts to all 'family' functions.
I am sure the stuff that gets sent to our house is the extra special junk that she hopes we steal/replace.
And she doesn't go out in public much with them so it really doesn't mater.
I can understand her sending
I can understand her sending them to you in clothes that's too small....she does t want you to have the good clothes. But actually buying stuff that's too small? That I just don't get.
Oh yeah the shoes were brand
Oh yeah the shoes were brand new for school.
We have the same problem. We
We have the same problem. We don't bother sending back the too small clothes, I give them away. The stained and we bought this outfit at "Hookers 'R Us" get tossed.
^^This. Our BM does the same
^^This. Our BM does the same thing. She makes twice as much as DH, buys skids designer clothes, but because she feels she is entitled to more child support from DH (even though she makes more) She makes skids suffer by sending them on DH's day with inappropriate, tiny, ugly, old clothing, old shoes with holes, etc. So sad.
That explains her sending
That explains her sending them in old clothes that are too small and worn. But it doesn't explain spending her money to buy them new clothes that are already too small. That defies all logic....why would she essentially waste her own money. The only thing I can think of is that she just doesn't know what sizes her kids are and is too lazy to figure it out.... Or that the small size was on clearance and she got those because they were cheaper.
Funny thing is we don't pay
Funny thing is we don't pay child support. BM told the judge that she made as much as DH during the divorce. Which she may now that she got a different job a few years ago.
And while she can't buy clothes for skids she seems to do fine shopping for herself and buying them toys.
our BM used to do this all
our BM used to do this all the time too
We have the same issue with
We have the same issue with our BM - buys NEW clothes and shoes too freaking small. When she does buy them, that is - she is NCP and doesn't pay child support, and rarely if ever opens her wallet for them. When she does, it's crap she purchases.
We have the very same
We have the very same problem. BM always looks nice, but SD and SS look like homeless children.. BM won't even brush SD8's LONG hair (I have tried to get SD to brush her own hair.. she is plenty old enough to be responsible for that.. but she's too lazy and just won't do it) BM either sends them in clothes that are WAAAAAYYYY too small, or something that is just outrageous and ridiculous. Example - last weekend was BS2's birthday party. MIL and FIL picked up SS and SD from BM (they live in the same town, about 25 min away from us) and brought them to the party. I was so embarrassed when I saw SD get out of the car.. she is 8.. she had on HEELS.. we're talking 3 inch HEELS.. and they were literally about 2 sizes too big for her.. and this dress that looked like it had been crumpled up in the corner of the closet for months.. it was stained, wrinkled, and she stunk.. and, of course, her hair had not been touched. I said to MIL "OMG - why didn't you take her to your house and change her.. HEELS.. really??" MIL didn't think it was a big deal.. she thought it was cute. OK - well keep that "cute" at home for play/dress up time.. NOT when you are going out in public and to be around family and friends. SS6 had on a pair of shorts that were so tight, he couldn't even pull the zipper up.. he got them buttoned, but no zipper.. his clothes did not match, and just like SD's dress, his clothes were so wrinkled they looked like he had pulled them out of the hamper. UGH.. I don't get it. I LOVE to dress my boys nice, do their hair, put a little cologne on them.. make them look presentable.. and I do the same for SD and SS when they're at our house. And I'm sure some of you are thinking that BM only does when she sends them to us ON PURPOSE.. yeah - I used to think so, too.. but nope! She takes them out like this when they are with her.. I've seen pictures AND I've run into them in person and seen it for myself! LOL.. SMH at that woman.. what do you do?
OMG, you just described MY
OMG, you just described MY situation! LOL!
BM buys a lot of stuff from Goodwill, and the clothes (and shoes) are usually 2-3 sizes too small (SD11 wears sz 10/12 and I've seen her trying to squeeze into a 5/6), or they're swimming in them (she's the definition of "dumb blonde").
Although these days (about a year after I came into the picture) it seems like she's in a competition with me and DH over who can spend more money on the kids. We just let her go broke buying them stuff, and keep our gifts simple. It's very amusing. }:)
Swamp Hole used to send the
Swamp Hole used to send the skids to our house in extremely small clothes or clothes they hated. Then they would complain to DH that their clothes didn't fit and DH would let them go back in our clothes. Then DH would say, where are all the clothes I bought the skids for our house :? Insanity.
Then, I said the clothes the skids where here they back to her in, no exceptions. Swamp Hole caught on and was pissed that she wasn't get CS AND a new set of clothes for the 3 skids. So Swamp Hole played more games and now she has to pack a clothes bag for the skids.
I bet Swamp Hole really hates it when Karma bites her in the ass! }:)