For some one that has done this before DH seems clueless
DH and I are trying to get pregnant. But for some one that has done this TWICE he seems to ask really a lot of questions.
After our wedding we agreed that because of our ages (31 and 29) that we would start trying right away. But when I went and made an appointment with a doctor, a dentist and got an eye exam DH asked me what I was doing. I told him that I was getting ready. the doctor even refereed me to an OBGYN already for a per-pregnancy consultation.
Apparently he didn't do any of this with his ex. I also told him that I wanted to do the birthing/parenting class as well since I am a first time mom and he said he would like to go to it as well since he didn't do that with BM.
Now I expected that I would be more into all this than DH simply because it is my first. But he just seems clueless.
And I know that SS5 is well 5, but I can't imagine things have changed that much. We were talking about how we what to raise the baby. I wanted to look into cloth diapering (a friend of mine tried it and loved it) and breast feeding (which BM did not do). I also told DH that if we had a boy I really didn't want to circumcise him and he told me that I have to, he really did not know that it's optional. I also not religious and don't feel the need to baptize, he asked me what my mom would think and I told him none of her grand babies are unlike his family were they all are. We don't go to church and I am not joining one just for a day. And I am not telling DH what to do, I told him that he could baptize the baby but I wouldn't help him with it.
Of course all of those thing are choices. But it seems like DH didn't know he had any choices probably because BM didn't give him any. And I am not saying that BM (or anyone else)did it wrong, just differently and I respect her(their) choice, but this is my turn to do it our way.
Also what else can I do to keep DH excited about this pregnancy and to separate myself from him previous experiences with BM.
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Hee, hee, I'm clueless,
Hee, hee, I'm clueless, too.
I didn't go to the doctor, dentist, and eye doctor before getting pregnant.
I think you need to be actually pregnant, and visibly pregnant, before DH starts to get excited. It's very common for men to get more excited when the baby comes. Try not to take that one personally.
well I went to all those
well I went to all those places because I had not been in about 3 years - no insurance. Turns out I needed glasses and some dental work done.
I kinda thought the same
I kinda thought the same about a few things with my DH and I mostly blamed BM. Now I realize that BM might be partially to blame but my husband didn't know/get involved because on some level he didn't want to because he has gendered notions of parenting (certain stuff is women's work in his view) and also because he was a bit lazy.
These things have carried over into his parenting with ours.
I guess I tell this story because it sounds like to me you're blaming BM for all this when it couldn't possibly be all her fault. If your DH was that clueless, there's not a good reason for it. I mean,they had the Internet 5 years ago. He could have looked this stuff up. He could have read a book.
I could see that. He doesn't
I could see that. He doesn't like computers or books so that is his own ignorance there. I know I shouldn't blame BM but it is so easy to do. I know that a few things were on her. She is very pushy/bossy so I am sure she didn't give him options or tell him his options but he could have also looked into it like you said.
I know that he does not like SS7's name. I asked me once why they names him that and he just says BM wanted to. Seriously you would think something that important he would have fought for. I have run names by him - obviously we aren't to that point yet - but the ones he doesn't like I toss out. We call SS7 by a nick name (shorter version of his name) that he likes better.
On the parenting class DH really wanted to go, BM said she signed up but they lost her check, which is the same thing she said about summer school (2 years in a row) and a few other times. So either people lose a lot of her checks or she recycles her lies. I think she would have learned a lot in that class, lol.
And I will say DH is a good father to the sKids. I have not seen him in the baby stage but I have seen him with my Nephew who is 2 and his new niece. He does okay, but it's different when it's yours.
...I am of the opinion of our
...I am of the opinion of our DH's are not doctors, they would have no idea about the reproductive cycles of a human being.
Let's see, DH knows that I get a period once a month... but I could have just finished one at the tail end of the month and enter a new month, he'd be like "Well when you get your period in a few days..." Um, no. it doesn't work like that unless I want to die of blood loss.
He has no idea what ovulation is. And I've explained it to him at least twenty times. He thinks baby making day is every day excluding the days of my period. I have a sneaking suspicion he thinks I can release eggs every few days.
He thinks me having allergies against dust will kill our hypothetical unborn baby. Therefore everything must be dust free. He hates dusting, so who's going to be doing it?
Since BM is a psycho, he only did the bare minimum of going to a sonogram with her once--everything else she just told him and he accepted until he cut off contact with her because she was annoying and crazy.
He thinks because he's caucasian and I'm asian, the baby will grow too big and kill me (I'm a small person--at 5'). The look on DH's mom's face when he asked all worried if a baby will grow too big and burst through my stomach was priceless.
That's because his mom was a biology professor.
One of my friends was barely
One of my friends was barely 5' tall and weighed 89 pounds (but not anorexic just thin) when she got pregnant. Her husband was well over 6' and a big man.
She asked her OB (who happened to be the same one I used so I can just imagine him saying this) if she was going to have a big baby. He said "If you wanted a little bitty baby you should have married a little bitty man." We've laughed about that for years. She did have a 9 lb baby but didn't need a c-section or anything special.
When I was pregnant with my
When I was pregnant with my son, my BF had 3 other kids so he was trying to tell me what I should be feeling and what to expect. I never had morning sickness and he said "When X was pregnant, she was always sick. You'll get sick too, all women do." "When you're in labor you are going to scream your head off because it hurts so bad. X did."
AFter that he was not allowed to talk about her pregnancies.