If a natural parent decides to leave town to start a new life and parents minimally via text and FaceTime along with a quarterly visit. How involved should you make her when serious discipline issues come up. I am mothering her boys in almost every way other than that I am not their natural mother. They still don't seem too open to me being involved in their discipline even though I have been their stepmom for 9 years and they have lived full time with us for 3 years. Am I allowed to discipline? Should I involve the "mother"?