Think SS is like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
Well I'm back after spending a week in California with family. I was suppose to travel alone so DH and SS10 could think about what they really want in this marriage/blended family BUT SS ended up going with me. It was pretty good and things went exceptionally well until the last 2 days of our trip. My BC were delivered back to me Thursday night from their 6 week vacation with their BD and SS instantly became a changed child. I had a talk with SS and reminded him of how wonderful things had been for US and I wanted the rest of the trip to be just the same. I also let him know that even though the kids were back, he would not be left out. I continued to be positive and not let the stupid crap get to me. I tried to be more conscious of how much attention I was giving to each kid so no one felt left out but it didn't help.
We finally returned home late last night and I hoped being home would help SS mellow out....WRONG! This morning he's managed to get into a fight with the neighbor kids, I was informed that SS told neighborhood kids and their parents that he was adopted after his BM did drugs, that we adopted him to get the money and we spend it all on ourselves....neighbors gave SS a scooter out of sympathy (didn't know all this a week ago or the scooter would have been given back, still might be). I am so embarrassed! My BS13 had to set things straight with the neighborhood kids but I have neighbors/parents who think we're bad parents. My DH and I will be taking a little more time to chat with our neighbors and clear the air.
I'm not letting it bug me too much and will let DH deal with his son. I know as SS gets older, people will see him for what he is if he continues to lie. My husband is going to have a fit tonight when all this comes out during our family meeting. I keep telling everyone to save their complaint for tonight, I'm sick of tattling today.
It'll be interesting to know why SS tells people these lies. He has a pretty damn good life and I wish he'd be proud of our family. My BK's love our life/home and even their friends love it here, why doesn't SS? Guess I'll have to ask tonight.
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Comments
OMG, hopefully those
OMG, hopefully those neighbors know what a liar he is. And, now their trust in that kid is gone. Be sure and let SS know how long it takes to form a trust and how mere moments and words can shatter it forever.
That was really good of your neighbors to give him a scooter, shows they have compassion. Don't feel embarrassed for what SS said or did.
But, it is important to make sure the neighbors know the truth and you only have to tell them once for them to always remember when they see the kid what a liar he is.
Also, when the kids come to my door selling stuff for their school fundraisers, I always let them pick out a popsicle to eat while I choose the the junk. They also bring up to speed in who's doing what and what happened over on the next street.
I purposely take my time so I can hear it since I don't have kids are only out in the hood during the night walks with my dogs. So there's no one to talk with.
AND...everything they say, I take it with a grain of salt.
Sorry your ss gave you a hard time, but I agree, call it on him.