Social media and reality
My DH's main FB pictures were of him and SD and were 8 year old pictures, SD14 was 6 in the pictures. It bothered me after a while because even someone who isn't very interested in FB still should have a recent-ish picture. We got married, had two kids, and his pictures were still just him and SD.
A while ago I mentioned that they were old and he should update them because he's recently become more active because of work. It's all wholesome stuff, I'm not concerned about that.
A few weeks ago we got in a fight because for our DDs birthday he kept walking away rather than take any pictures altogether. He ended up getting a lot of pics of him and SD and a few of all his kids but it was because his mom and sister took them. When it came time for me to want pictures he kept walking away to chat with other people. I don't make him sit for pictures often but I was furious. We have one of everyone and it was after the fight and the party so the lighting was dark and I had changed out of my nice outfit to start cleaning up.
An old friend of his just had a significant life event. DH has known this friend since before we met and I've met him twice. DH just changed his picture to one of him and his friend commemorating the significant life event. He showed me and I said "that's a nice pic but wow you've never put up a pic of us together." This guy is a good friend but if he's only met up with him literally 2 or 3 times in the last 7 years is he really that good of a friend? I know FB is not a reflection of your actual life. They were both dressed nicely and share a lot of friends.
Anyway (I'm rambling) a couple days ago he said to me that he was looking through his pictures and we don't have enough of us as a family. He said I was right to be mad at the party and he was sorry. At the event he saw a bunch of old friends and they all asked him about SD and some even asked about BM and assumed our kids were with her! It was embarrassing and made him realize people do look at FB. When he tried to pull up pictures of us most of what he had were pics of our kids that I sent him. Everyone else was showing off lovely family portraits and he didn't really have any.
He wanted to have his next profile pic a picture of all of us. Within a few days he actually took one and put it up. So nearly 8 years, a marriage and 2 kids and he's finally ready to have FB look like he's not just a single dad to SD.
Though I thought it was interesting that he put up a pic of us without SD. Though I do think a pic without SD is more reflective of reality than one with her. There are still more pics of SD on his profile than anyone but I think he's gotten tired of people only asking about her.
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I have a Facebook page but
I have a Facebook page but never post. DH has one too but lost the password and hates Facebook, so it just gets ignored.
I think if your DH never posts anything and never changes his picture, people know he's just not very active on it.
Anyway, that's my old-person-who-couldn't-care-less-about-social-media opinion.
that's why the Mr's pic is of
that's why the Mr's pic is of Eric Cartman and mine is of our dog. No hurt feelings or issues... except the dog being pissed that Eric Cartman won out over him.
I actually get annoyed when
I actually get annoyed when people put their significant others as their profile pictures. My profile picture is of me - alone - because I am individual. My cover photo at times has been of SO and I but currently is a vacation pic from our Alaska cruise with neither of us in it.
But...if SO had Bratty on his FB profile or cover...I'd be p*ssed So good for you OP for saying something and getting him to realize that other people do look at FB and interpret current events in your life from it.
I don't have pictures of
I don't have pictures of myself alone, so mine includes DH.
Girl...
I'm sending you a selfie stick for Xmas
Lol. I hate having my picture
Lol. I hate having my picture taken, so I'd just use it to take long-distance pictures of the dog, or something of the sort.
Mine is just if me alone. I'm
Mine is just if me alone. I'm happy with his family pic but I feel like it's overcompensating a bit.
I changed my profile pic for
I changed my profile pic for the first time to a pic of SO and I 1 a year ago. I changed it last week on vacation to just a awesome picture of myself that SD took haha. It will probably be another year before I change it. Cover is the dogs or beach.
Dang!
I loathe FB. No longer on it. This brings back horrible hurtful memories.
My ex DH was on it and it bothered me to no end that his profile and cover was always him and SD. Like they were a couple. They were creepy. We would argue and he would then post some of me and him on it, but guess what when I looked at his settings one day the ones with me were on custom settings . The only person was me who could see it. I wondered why not one person liked it other than me. Yet with SD all these loves and comments on how amazing she is.
So yea Id be pissed, but my experience is not yours. Glad he added your pic in. These men are so afraid of ticking off their first precious family at the expense of us. So glad I am out of this sickness.
Wow that is so deceptive and
Wow that is so deceptive and gross! Good riddance to that POS.
Ahh ye olden days of Fakebook
Ahh ye olden days of Fakebook and the ability to pretend that your life was a charcoochie board of amazing vacations, wonderful family and friend gatherings, and a marriage to be envied by all...oh and lets not forget that you can promote your newest MLM on there too, proclaiming to the world you are a girl boss now (gag). Anyway I had a friend who depicted the perfect life on Fakebook! Her marriage was enviable at how in love they were and how all over each other they were all the time. Well recently she went dark, nothing was being posted, then comes the new page, sans all her photos of her and DH. Now there is a newer younger model in the mix...turns out her marriage was not all roses and fairytales as she depicted. Glad your DH finally gained some insight to what he is presenting to the outside world.
Ah yes love it when people
Ah yes love it when people reach out after years acting like they miss you and then hit you with hat MLM link.
At least invite me to an actual party and guilt me into buying stuff with wine and appetizers, if I get a virtual MLM party invite I silence it unfriend the person who sent it.
YES
I can't stand MLM one bit. Any FB invites (or those that keep posting about their 'amazing' new business - I'm looking at you, SO's sister-in-law) are blocked/silenced. Some of these people have never come to one damn thing we've invited them to - then have the nerve to ask us to buy crap from them.
The 'live' parties are a straight no from me. Just like that, no - i don't attend these types of events and am not interested in the products. I don't even care if the person is offended - their problem, not mine.
I'm on FB everyday
Ya I had a traumatic facebook fight with now DD7's dad. We were at DD sonogram appointment. It was the big one. I remember leaving the doctor's office just ecstatic because she was so healthy and nothing was wrong and I was 40 so I was very worried . We were holding hands in the parking lot headed to the car and he says, "I need you to unfriend any and all mutuals we have on fb. I don't want anyone to know about the baby." Talk about going from the happy heights of heaven to the deeps of despair. I never let go of someone's hand so fast. We had been together like 6 years as that point and living together for four. He had some little band with just he and his friend. They didn't play anywhere. They just made their music and posted it on youtube. He tried to say it was his bandmate's idea cause he thought it would make them lose fans if the lead singer was in a relationship and having a baby. He was 48 or 49 at the time. Like he was some kind of John Lenon and the Beatles girl fans would be upset if the lead singer had a family.
I did just that. I unfriended all his family and friends. I put my relationship status to single and let him look like an idiot. So even now at 46 with four kids, I still have men I know on facebook ask me out cause they think I'm pretty and interesting. But I get it. I felt that way. It's like they don't want the world to know that they are with you and have a family with you and it hurts very badly. They aren't proud to have you on their arm.
SOs profile pic is SD from
SOs profile pic is SD from 2011. He has never once posted a picture on his page since his separation. He also takes zero pictures of anything. If someone were to ask him for pics of kids (from the last 6 years we've been together) he would have to go to my Facebook page. Which isn't much just yearly vacation photos. I don't post much. The first year/ year and half I didn't take many of the kids. I actually regret not taking many on our first two vacations.
At some point... I'll probably make him post SOMETHING haha. He does post "thanks for the birthday wishes." So it's not like he is incapable.
I hate Facebook and am not on
I hate Facebook and am not on it.
My ex's main photo was one of him and mini wife of course. UGH.
But since I didn't have FB and didn't have to see it I didn't care. Eventually after we had been together a few months he showed me on his phone that he had changed it to one of him and me. Whatever.
I don't know if he's now changed it back to the one of him and daughter/wife.....