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Reactions to pregnancies

SeeYouNever's picture

Submitted by SeeYouNever on Tue, 08/25/2020 - 11:48am

When we told SD13 about our first she seemed excited but it was something she shared with DH. They were having a baby and I was just sort of providing the vessel. That's whatever, I know the 3 of us will never be a family unit.  It was strange to be so invisible but I really can't complain because it's better than her hating me or our daughter. 

We're going to be telling her that I'm pregnant again this weekend (unless SIL beats us to the news!) For anyone who has had more than one child, did your stepkids react differently each time? Just looking for some stories for what to expect.

I think SD will say she's excited but remain acting ambivalent. I wonder about BM's reaction too. After finding out about my first pregnancy that's when visits went from monthly to about quarterly and SD stopped responding to any calls or messages. We wonder if it was BMs doing or her just being a teenager because she seems fine when we have her but acts like we don't exist in the meantime.

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surprisestepmother's picture

Submitted by surprisestepmother on Tue, 08/25/2020 - 12:56pm

My children are completely separate from my SD. I had had my first with my husband before we knew about SD, so I got the full first pregnancy experience. 

strugglingSM's picture

Submitted by strugglingSM on Tue, 08/25/2020 - 2:57pm

We are on our first, so I can only speak to that. SS told DH how excited he was and then went home and cried to BM about how terrible it was that DH was replacing him. Part of that could be from BM as well, who told DH he should have consulted with her first before having another child (no joke), because it would be so disruptive to SSs. That SS nows tells us he will be the best brother ever and we can use him as a babysitter (he's in high school). Unfortunately, I don't trust him, so he will not be alone with the child until she's old enough to talk and tell me what's going on. 

WwCorgi7's picture

Submitted by WwCorgi7 on Tue, 08/25/2020 - 5:38pm

Sd who is also in her early teens was very excited when each of our boys were born (we have had 3 boys together). I've been in SD's life since she was 2 almost 3 so she was pretty young when we had our first together.. We just had our 4th baby and SD again was over the moon....up until we found out it was a girl. She has truly gone of the deep end she's in therapy( I've made several posts here about it).

BM wasn't happy with our first baby and was very upset because we were basically pregnant at the same time but I was due 2 months before she was and that really made her mad. She always told SD that any kids from us were not "real" siblings. BM had a way better reaction when she found out about the other two boys. However, BM is furious with this baby because it is a girl and we didn't get SD's "permission" to  have another baby. She sent DH nasty messages the day after she found out we had her demanding more money.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Don't let your SD's antics ruin this special time for you. My SD cut my husband off 6 months ago but he's learning to deal with it.