Well, it's done, i don't know how i feel right now. I feel like i have peace, but at the same time, it cost me the father of my unborn child.I love DH, do I love DH? I don't know, all i know is that dealing w/his daughter was too much for me to bear. I have my own responsibilities right now.I have a 21 yr old I need to put through college, I have an 11 yr old, honor roll student that I need to make sure stays that way & I have a new infant on the way, due to arrive at the end of September. I have felt so spread thin over the last months, trying to be a good wife to my husband, showering him w/love & affection, cooking, cleaning, spending all of my free time w/him, often times at the expense of other relationships in my life, my kids, my friends, my ministry. then on top of that he wanted me to step in and be a step mom to his daughter, which is a full time job in itself because she is so encapable of doing anything at 17 yrs old, can't even go to school everyday. My own children were being squeezed out of the picture. He just couldn't see it, i tried to talk to him about it, i tried to explain to him that i needed time for my own children, he would never understand, his feelings would get hurt & he would be offended. I went to counseling on my own to try to deal with it, on my own because I could never tell him how I was feeling w/out him becoming sensitive & hurt. I finally couldn't take another minute of his incessant complaining.
We were supposed to meet w/the Pastor for counseling last night, we never made it because he couldn't shut up in the car on the way there, & finally said that he didn't feel like going now, so i turned the car around, went back to the house, cursed a few choice words at him & told him to get the F --- out!
And you know what...now, everything is quiet. Last night was the first time I've been able to pray over my own unborn child. I haven't had any time to worry about her or think about her until last night when I finally got rid of his needy ass. I don't know what is going to happen, but I do know that he needs to pull his head out of his ass & wake UP! I'm only one person & I already have so much to deal with. he has got to raise his daugher up quickly & I can't do it for him.