I re-focused all of my energy on my own children this past week & i feel so much better about myself as a parent. I decided that raising SD was really none of my business & since DH wasn't going to allow me to help, the only thing that i could do was step back & leave it up to him.
Since the "re-focus" I sat down w/my counselor, that i have been seeing alone 4 months, we made a list of goals & objectives 4 my oldest daughter to follow, which included curfews & deadlines for completion.my counselor at first didn't think that my daughter would be able to adhere to the new rules & goals, but she has been doing awesome!she is currently enrolled in college & is going to adult school simultaneously to achieve her high school diploma.She has all her credits,she just needs to pass the algerbra portion of the Exit Exam & she's done w/high school diploma.She begins college full time in August. She's in every night by 9:00pm & home on the weekends by midnight.I have begun to trust her again, & no longer am i making her take the bus to school. I have rewarded her diligence w/allowing her to use my car to go to & from school, as she proved to me earlier this week when DH & I were fighting, that NOTHING was going to deter her from pursuing her education. DH had said some hurtful things to her last week & so she went to stay at a girlfriend's house for a few days.Everyday that she was gone, she had taken the bus to school from her girlfriends' house.
Today, me & younger daughter are meeting w/my counselor. Younger daughter is a straight "a" student, honor roll, w/perfect attendance, but has been very angry & wanting to run away. Big sister is the one who let me in on what little sis is been feeling. So she rode w/me to work today, dropped her off at grandma's, today at lunch we go to see the counselor.
This past Sunday, both of my girls joined me in churh for the first time since DH & I have been married.
I also made them things that I know they like for dinner this week, stuffed bell-peppers & fried chicken w/mashed potatoes.
I also cleaned their rooms for them & did all of their laundry. All of these things r things that they do for themselves, but i had been spending so much time paying attention to DH & his brat that my children were being completely ignored.
i've decided that i can't do it for my DH & his daughter. They r going to have to figure out their relationship 4 themselves. it's not my responsibility & i have to focus on my own responsibilities & the new baby that's on the way. I feel badly for DH becuz here I am managing 2 children of my own & pretty soon an infant & he can't seem to get it together w/his 17 year old. It's really simple... it's called discipline!!!
today, oldest daughter went to the math lab at school (on her day off) to do some extra credit!
she has an old beat-up VW that is not running anymore, so we've decided to sell it & use the money for a laptop for school. I'm so proud of her. She has turned around in a matter of weeks.I hope that me & my kids can be an example for my DH & his daughter to follow.