Sorry for blog hogging. First blog was just a mini vent regarding fskids BM. This blog I need you ladies help with.

For those who don't know the history, I recently became the guardian for a 13 almost 14 yo girl. Her parents died in a car wreck and their wills named me to care for her. Me, the woman who had no kids and both maternal and paternal sides of the family were fine with that.

For ease of posting from this point forward in all posts "S" is now DD. That abbreviation seems to mean Darling/ Dear Daughter and that is a good way to describe her.

Custody/ visitation:

DD has two sets of grandparents that she is close with. Has visited annually with her parents since birth. Both sets of grandparents are elderly (late 70's to early 80's). Both sets agree they are not capable at this point in their lives of raising a teenager and are content with her being in my custody full time. Each set does want to see her and continue a close relationship. I am lucky in the fact that each set lives within 2 hours of where I live.

Neither set of grandparents feels comfortable in driving on the interstate, which would be required for them to come visit her at my house. They all still drive, puttering around town to church, the grocery stores and such but none have driven on the interstate in years and if they are uncomfortable driving at 70 mph I am uncomfortable with DD being in a car with them going that fast. So any traveling to drop DD off to them I would be doing as well as picking her up. Four hours round trip- to drop off and pick up- for each set of grandparents. Again, I am happy to do it to keep DD safe and in touch with her family, but not a trip I want to pull every other weekend!

My thought process led to the following schedule, trying to plan DD's time off from school with the least busy periods of my work so I can provide the transportation for her.

Summertime: June, DD spends the last two weeks of June with Paternal grandparents, last two weeks of July with Maternal grandparents. Giving both sides of the family two uninterrupted weeks with her. And on a steady enough schedule that if other family members want to come into town to see her, they know when she will be there and can plan accordingly.

School year: She has one week long break at Christmas time another at spring break. I was thinking 4 day weekends during these periods of time, alternating years with the grandparents. Enough time to see her and keep the bond going, not enough time to spoil her totally rotten.

My question is, Is this a fair visitation schedule? I am thinking of DD and not disrupting her/my schedule however, these are her grandparents, and this grandchild is their last link to their deceased children. I have a feeling they will agree to anything I propose to them whether they want more time or not. SO seems to think a weekend every other month for each of them plus the 2 weeks in the summer. That would be a lot of driving, but if the general feeling from all is that is appropriate then I will make the drive(s).

Item two.
Where can I take this kid to go shopping where the clothes don't all make her look like a hooker? I took her to the mall, she managed to get new underwear for school, but every shirt she tried on, every pair of jeans looked horrible, made to show off butt and cleavage. DD is filling out and has enough to show off now, and I hate the sexed up teenager look. Style I can understand the kid wanting to dress in, so long as that style isn't created by Future prostitutes of America or Crackheads R Us. She has an issue with the clothes I found looking too young. I am 14 not 4 is a refrain I heard a lot of at the mall yesterday.

Suggestions? What stores actually have relatively MODEST clothes for teenagers that are stylish, not too young looking and don't make them appear as if their life goal is the worlds oldest profession? FSD's BM takes her shopping and sadly, her look is the over sexed kitten that is all too common these days. So the stores she shops at are out.