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Small Victories

round2's picture

Submitted by round2 on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 8:47am

My precious SD is in addition to many other things NOT a morning person. She is rude and sullen most days. There have been many days where she has refused to get up and she and her dad have gotten into fights to get her to school on time. I never get involved with that foolishness.

This morning was pretty typical until FDH hollered for her to come downstairs and eat breakfast. I made my kid scrambled eggs - she did not want that so he made her cereal and toast. Whatever, I am only cooking one meal. So, when he said "come on" she smarted off to him saying "I'm coming, I'm coming sheesh" in a shitty tone of voice.

When she got downstairs, I made her look at me and said - you do not talk to your dad or any adult in that tone of voice again. do you understand me? She rolled her eyes and said yes. I stopped her right there and said - It is disrespectful to roll your eyes and me and if it happens again you will be sent to your room. Do you understand me? She said yes and I made her finish with a yes ma'am!

Shockingly, the rest of the morning was quite pleasant. It always amazes me that FDH doesn’t see that consistency, boundaries and consequences are the key to raising kids that don’t piss me off.

Good morning and Good Luck today Step parents!

Comments

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 9:00am

lol hmmm she sounds like me...my poor dad would wake me up and I always got up in a bad mood...sometimes, it still happens...sigh.

Sadly, not everyone is a morning person...I wish I knew why, but I can tell you what helped me in the hopes that maybe it will help her.

1. Put soft music ALL NIGHT LONG in the room...low volume of course...something, anything that is relaxing "Chris Botti" or "HemySync" music is great...

2. One weekend, check to see what time she goes to bed and what time she wakes up on her own...once you get that, back out those hours from the time she MUST get up in the morning to go to school and make her go to her room to sleep at least those many hours. She does not have to be made to sleep, but the music will definitely soothe her.

3. If she likes to read at all, get her a KINDLE...not a tablet where the glare from the screen keeps you awake, believe me there is a HUGE difference. With a kindle, there is no glare and even when I am not sleepy, within about 20-30 minutes of reading in low light (get a light for the kindle), I will nod off.

From my experience what happens is that I don't really wind down at night and my mind literally races all night long, thus I am tired in the morning. When I listen to music all night long or at the minimum, go to sleep reading, my mind is relaxed and it another place...thus I can truly relax and get a good night's sleep.

PS - make wake up time during the school week at least 15-30 minutes BEFORE she really needs to wake up...It stresses me out to be in a rush in the morning and yes, I can be tired, not in the mood, etc...but when rushed, it's 100xs worse.

Good luck! and Good Morning!

cant win for losin's picture

Submitted by cant win for losin on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 9:04am

i'm NOT a morning person AT ALL. The less talking to me the better. It is SOOOOO hard for me to not grunt and have a shitty tone when answering questions or responding to a frickin cheerful GOOD MORNING! LOL

My dd is not a morning person. I respect that. My "morning issues" have gotten better as I have gotten older, but as a kid i was a bear. So I don't talk much to my dd in the morning. I just let her be. I use to wake her up in the mornings for school. Yup she was grumpy, yup i would have to holler a few times, but once she rolled out of bed, I was slient and so was she. Now she is in jr high, and get's herself up, so i don't have to deal with it.

I understand it DEF not easy to deal with grumpy non morning people, trust me we don't like it either. LOL