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Update: "Love is a Choice"

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Submitted by reluctantgma on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 8:48am

I'm within a chapter and a half of having read through "Love is a Choice: The Definitive Book on Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships" by Hemfelt, et al. It has been a bit of a challenge to read. Some parts are so spot on to issues that I'm struggling with and I gobbled them up eagerly. Other chapters seem to drone on and don't capture me at all. Some of those chapters tell me that I have to resolve some unpleasant baggage from my past to get myself whole, so the fact that these chapters didn't capture or excite me is probably connected to my resistance for doing that work.

General: Love is a Choice

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Submitted by reluctantgma on Sun, 09/04/2011 - 5:29am

I stumbled across an interesting book available electronically through Amazon's Kindle. "Love Is a Choice: The Definitive Book on Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships" by Dr. Robert Hemfelt, Dr. Frank Minirth, and Paul Meier M.D.

One or some of the authors must have an extensive background in history and literature. They often make references and comparisons to events/stories that I'm only vaguely familiar with, if at all. They toss in arcane words periodically, but Kindle has dictionary powers, so no biggie.

Autobiography In Five Chapters

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Submitted by reluctantgma on Thu, 09/01/2011 - 1:51pm

1.) I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost.. I am hopeless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find my way out.

2.) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I'm in the same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

I'm a criminal. Oh my.

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Submitted by reluctantgma on Thu, 09/01/2011 - 10:47am

Took Bozo & BH's household items over to Bozo today. He complained about social services having gotten involved with he and BH being homeless. Said BH had gone to school on Monday devastated about the loss of his home and told his counselor. His counselor notified social services who got in touch with Bozo. He has a week or so to get out of his parents home and into their own stable home.

The Day After...

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Submitted by reluctantgma on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 2:17pm

Just wanted to let everyone know I'm doing ok and got through Bozo discovering I'd changed the locks last night. It didn't go exactly as I'd planned as far as my leaving for the evening. Power went out for the entire afternoon and when you live in the country, no power = no water. I'd been up since 2am and was filthy. Just wanted to take a nap until the power came back on. I phoned and left a message for Bozo in the late afternoon saying that it wasn't a good idea for him and BH to come back here last night, maybe never. He didn't get the message or ignored it. Flip a coin with him.

Oh, I did indeed set a bottom line!

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Submitted by reluctantgma on Sat, 08/27/2011 - 6:07pm

Yesterday in my Relationship Incrementalism blog post, I puzzled over how all of my expectations and boundaries just swirl down the toilet and get flushed away when I'm in a close relationship with a man. I was willing to let bf and BH stay on under a tenancy agreement just so I could gain some practice in setting bottom lines, establishing boundaries and following through on consequences. Turns out there will be no need for that.

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